Categorized | Love & Relationships

Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number?

Posted on 28 July 2005 by Liza Mae V.

He came to get me, I was calm at this point.
He made a proposition for me, we could chill then go to the cafe to have a drink.
He listened to me vent prior.
I was surprised because he actually thought the situation out.
We talked about the whole thing.

He says I piss him off sometimes but he doesn’t go ‘crazy’ like I do.  He says he looks at the bigger picture, and just because I pissed him off for a moment, that he shouldn’t use it against me because overall everything is just right.

He tries to justify that he is doing all that he could do right now which is in his words the following:

  • I call you everyday, before I retire to bed.
  • I see you atleast one day in the week and every weekend.
  • If you invite me somewhere with your friends, I am there.

My arguments were what I wrote in my prior entry … that I want to experience new things and share the things I enjoy, travel, etc.  That I just want to see him because he is a freshing to see in my day.  He said he understood but he pulled the age difference argument on me, that we were on different pages.  I am in school, work part-time and don’t really worry about anything, but he is working, has to pay bills, and have to wake up in the mornings.  Maybe I don’t really understand but atleast I am trying to. 

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Does age make a big barrier on a relationship?  I am 22, he is 29. 

I think he makes it a barrier and whenever we get in major disagreements this always comes up.  Blar.  I think he has never been with someone who wanted to experience everything and do big things.  He is not used to my overwhelming appetite to absorb new things.  I’m a Gemini.  We get bored easily and are outgoing people. 

Despite the disagreements, we worked things out.  He understands why I was upset and we are trying to fix it together.  He even made plans to see me tomorrow if he’s not tired and its not too late.  =) 

A little compromise and communication goes so far.

-Liza Mae

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6 Comments For This Post

  1. mentalrehab Says:

    I am little late on this (just read the post before this one to understand this one) but the reality is, you are in school and live with your parents (correct) — he is passed that stage and onto a very (for lack of a better word) adult stage in that despite the whims and desires we have inside of us, priorities have to be put in place. I don’t think age is an issue so much as circumstance. Once you are to the point where you are on your own, paying all of the bills on your own, working full-time and having to be accountable for that time.. you can’t just “do whatever whenever” — especially if you have goals in place.

    Now if G loves you (which from your entries it appears you all are in love) then he has to realize he has an outgoing woman who is still in college who doesn’t understand his life yet– there is no way you can if you haven’t been there. Life after college is STRENOUS and demanding and the things we love tend to get backburned for the things that we must do.
    On the flipside, you need to understand that you have a MAN, not a college boy. You need to understand that he has a schedule and his life is completely different from yours. So if you all are to work, he can’t throw the age card at you and you can’t throw the “you’re not used to someone like me” card at him– the reality is that you two are at two different places in life and both of you need to concede to the other.

    Your last entry mentioned that you throw yourself into the person you are with 100% and that you want to be with 24/7 (obviously I tapered your actual words) — Realize, though an admirable quality in you, that in itself can be overwhelming. It is a lot of pressure to be put on one person if he/she can’t be there the amount of time that you want them to be there.. make sense? See, just because you are that way, doesn’t mean he is– and it doesn’t mean you should condemn him for it.

    Bottom line (amidst this long ass response) you both just need to talk more and communicate more– and judge less.

    Maybe each of you has something to learn from the other– Maybe he can teach you temperance and you can teach him spotaneity..

    Tiff

  2. lizamae Says:

    *sigh*

    I agree. We are at 2 different points in our lives but it is not far till I am where he is. In less than a year I will graduate and have to look for a job.

    Well this is my excuse for wanting to be with him more now, since it is summer I have more time on my hands and once school starts again in September, I am all books. I know he will actually miss my nagging and our roles will be reversed. lol. Well that is a very good assumption because we had some conflicts about that last year. He wasn’t used to my busy schedule. Also, all these problems existed once he started his new job/new schedule. So I suppose its the whole getting used to each others changing schedules and fitting each other which is difficult to compromise on sometimes. I have too much time, he has limited time.

    I am too critical at times, I need to tone that down. Everything is a learning lesson.

    -Liza Mae

  3. darksithmilitia Says:

    Sorry about the other night, my phone is fucked up. Email me if u need me

  4. lizamae Says:

    ok love. =P

  5. __viibe Says:

    Its good that you were able to talk about it, and lucky that he takes your views into consideration..many guys wouldn’t do that.
    Personally I think your age difference MAY have something to do with it, but you would be tha one who really knows, I don’t know your relationship as well as you :]

  6. fuhqindork Says:

    Hey Liza… it’s been a while… I’m glad to see things for you are so much better now. Your relationship with your man… and please here this out…. MAN sounds similar to that of my own and my girl. One point is different though… she has to enter this stage of life I’m in, but is very reluctant too. That’s another story though. You on the other hand… don’t need to worry about that for a while.

    Mentalrehab’s post to you was on the money so please pay attention to it. You two ARE at 2 DIFFERENT points of your lives regardless if you’re not far from where he is now. The fact is that as of now… in this very moment you are and don’t have those worries. You’re free, young with very little stress on your shoulders right now… You have yet to feel the weight. He does though… he feels it everyday and acknowledges it everyday. So it’s not the age difference… no worries on that.

    I read your last post as well. My girl loves to go to concerts as well. I finally went to 2 of them with her… the reason I was able to though is because we planned this months in advance. Otherwise I too would have said no. It’s just one of those things… I love her, but at the end of the day I still have to put food on the table and need the energy to. If she’s unable to understand that or unwilling to help it cause more unneeded stress.

    Case in point…. communication is vital. You’re going to need to understand the world he’s coming from a bit more. Even my own girl needs lessons there, but she’s trying… thank god. I’m pretty sure he cares about you so I’m happy for you… GOOD JOB Liza!!!

    He does have something to learn from you just as I’ve learned from my own girl. It’s important to enjoy life and the fruits of your labor every so often…. just don’t abuse it.

    okay… that’s enough of my 2 cents…. I miss you girl… take carez!

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I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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