Categorized | Other

…shattered pieces…

Posted on 28 May 2006 by Liza Mae V.

Yesterday after Natalie’s BBQ he sat in my car trying to figure me out.

Why was I so upset?
Why am I not happy?
Is it something that he did to cause me to be like this? Possibly.

I do not know why I struggled to tell him but I said somethings that bothered me. He tried to defend his position. Why do I have to fight him to make him listen? Why is always in defense? I am not trying to attack. I am just telling him what’s up.

In the middle of the conversation the phone rings. It was a female, crying for some attention at 1:40 a.m. begging for him to come over to give her some loving, but he tried to push her aside to one of his male friends but she wasn’t calling for another’s attention. She was calling for him to soothe her, to crush her guts in an attempt to slaughter all the tension she had in her life. So I reacted with such uncertainty. I rarely scream in anger but I did, I told him to get out of my car, twice. He looked at me in shock and he froze in disbelief. I never showed such emotions. He got up and walked to his car. I broke into a million pieces and felt my blood pressure rise. I lost my breath and my throat became heavy. My face was filled with tears that they were pouring from my hands to the car seat. Then the anxiet hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like I was losing myself, I felt like I was losing him, I felt like I lost faith.

Then his friend staggered to my car attempting to understand what happened but I could not speak because my tears were speaking for me. I was broken. G then came into my car and told me that the female calling was a friend that was confiding in him through her difficult times of marriage. That she was seeking for attention and that he would never cross me. He told me that things are not what they seem and he can not control what others say to him. He believed that I did not believe in his love for me. That I doubt him and this relationship. When all this time I thought believed in love, I was really a non-believer. When I thought he didn’t understand me, he knew me inside out. He told me things I have never heard roll out from his tongue. He opened up to me. I did not speak the whole time but I nodded. I was still recovering from my attack. He held me. I was no longer lost. I felt a sense of love that I never felt before.

Today is a brand new day — its time to make moves.

-Liza Mae V.

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3 Comments For This Post

  1. muszicluvher Says:

    wow this just gets…

    crazier and crazier everytime u let a lil peice out. did u just assume she wanted sex or is that what u overheard on the phone? that’s nuts either way. i mean push comes to shove he could just explain that he was with his girl and didn’t have the time, at the moment, to talk to her about her issues. i dunno. hope it was resolved since u said it was a new day for makin moves…..

  2. lizamae Says:

    Re: wow this just gets…

    yeah it was resolved.

    I overheard on the phone. So it pissed me off since we were in a middle of something and he allowed the conversation. I’m hungry.

    -Liza Mae

  3. muszicluvher Says:

    Re: wow this just gets…

    damn. that is ill! str8 up disrespect. i don’t know how i would handle that situation. if it was someone i was “in love with” oh yea they would get put on front street. i’m like hang up da mf phone now! an ole girl (boy in my case) woulda heard me. wow. see this is just one of many reasons y i’m stayin away from love. i guess i’m just scared that i would have to go thru something like this.

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I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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