Breaking it Down … Day 4 of Seperation

Posted on 25 April 2008 by Liza Mae V.

Everytime I think of him my heart breaks all over again …

This time apart is a good one.  It makes me see the situations from the outside in.  It makes me forgot about all the anger I had inside and really just get down to the facts.  Emotions get in the way of reality and makes us make poor choices.  Positivity is what I need.  For example, it is better to question, “Can I live with him?” rather than asking, “Can I live without him?”  The second question is a selfish one because it brings out other negative feelings of, “I can’t be alone”, “Can I picture him with someone else?”, and it really doesn’t question the validity of the relationship.  For the first question “Can I live with him”, it questions the relationship with the person, “Are WE really compatible?”

Hrmmm … that brings me to an even better question – “Can we live with each other?”

In the relationship, I can place the blame on him but really I have to take a really close look at myself and why I let these issues happen.  Yes he has his insecurities but why did I let his insecurities change the way I am?  I adjusted to him and in the end, I lost a part of me.  I realize now that this isn’t healthy in a relationship.  There is nothing wrong with adjusting to the person you are with but when you lose yourself in the process and have that built-up resentment … it definitely is not healthy.  This was my mistake.  I changed for the wrong reasons.

I didn’t realize this but people around me did.  They saw the changes in me that they did not admire but they did not speak about till now.  Maybe due to the fear that I would shun them out – but true friends tell you what you do not want to hear but need to hear it.

– Liza Mae V.

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.


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