life … what is it all worth?

Posted on 27 February 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I haven’t written in so long because my thoughts have been scattered like pieces of a puzzle. I’m trying to put it all together but it just doesn’t seem to fit. It is like I’m trying to answer the same questions, over and over … but there is always a different solution. I am nearing the age of 21, and I begin to wonder where I am going to be in a year.

The uncertainty scares me, but what is it that I fear?

Its ironic that I fear is living … not death. Death does not bother me. It is a part of life that we have to accept. But not being accepted is what I can not accept.

I am on this journey which has no real destination, no real solutions, and no real truth. Because everything that I strive for is too much in fantasy that I begin to wonder …

Will this all happen?

Is this what I really want?

Can this be acquired?

The future is in the hands of time. Everything can change with in seconds. One’s life can be taken … in one direction … to the next. So are these daily stresses, all worth it? I guess so. We do this, day in and day out.

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I look at all the relationships I have and wonder, if this person will be with me in a few years? Why is this person here? Right now? and wonder who I will bump into next?

I’m just so tired. Tired of starting new, where there is no expectations of what this person will be in my life. The whole cycle of getting to know someone … just tires me out … knowing it can end up … where I started, no where. He/she just appeared, and then disappeared.

I ask too much questions which can not be answered now because that is in the future. That’s what I fear … the fear of not knowing what or who comes next … but that’s life … my life.

-Liza

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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