Categorized | Life

adrenaline rush induced by fear

Posted on 18 September 2009 by Liza Mae V.

If you were to ask me the question of …

“How are you?”
“What’s going on?”
“What’s new?”

…or anything along the lines, be prepared to be inundated with information in which you didn’t really care to know. Let’s be honest here, when someone asks you that question they want a simple one word or one sentence answer.  So please do not ask if you truly do not care or you can just stop reading now.

If you asked me those questions two weeks ago I would have given a totally different answer but as we know, things can happen in a matter of seconds where your life changes right in front of you, seems like you are dreaming.   It has been overwhelming in the last two weeks that I feel like I am on a constant adrenaline rush.  Things are moving quickly and I am just going with it.   So what is it that has happened?

Well if you have read my last post you would know what happened last week.   Like that wasn’t hard enough, I had to make one of the biggest decisions in my life.  I bought a house without much direction.  I jumped in to something which I was fearful of doing but I just let go of those fears.  Instead my emotions are in adrenaline mode where I am excited, finicky, and scared.  I don’t really know what I am doing but I am learning on the way.  Mistakes have been made but success’ have also been a part of the process.  I need to focus on the goal instead of paying attention to the minor bumps on this road.

I realize how much I rely on him to guide me through this process that I became lazy in learning on my own.  I find that this is one of my bad habits.  I become reliant on someone when they provide me with all the answers, then I expect them to learn for me.  I am realizing now how important it is to pay attention.  I am fully awake now and it is hitting me like a tonne of bricks.

I waived the conditions of the house so technically the house is mine and I close on October 9th, 2009.  From real estate agents, lawyers, mortgage brokers, banks, insurance companies, etc. , my mind can not comprehend everything that needs to be done.  By the end of this I just want to rest and sit on a beach with a ice cold drink in hand.  Unfortunately this will not happen because after closing, there is more work to be done, from painting, cleaning, and doing minor fixes at the house.

It feels like my life  is as busy as it can get and though mi amore is not around to help me in the process, I have friends and family who will help me through this.  Roxanne has been an exceptional help and I’m grateful for her patience.  I know I am indecisive and a little crazy, so I appreciate having such a wonderful friend.  Even though we had a little conflict in the process, we sought it through  in the end and we laughed it off .

So back to the grind and time to make some phone calls.

– Liza Mae

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1 Comments For This Post

  1. Ronald Says:
    How exciting for you! This is a new chapter in your life I look really forward to hearing all about.

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I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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