Lately I’ve been mentally debating my fate, where will it lead me and how far I will go. I wish right now I could know but I don’t, so all I can do is hope. Drop on my knees and pray to God that I’ll cope and not trip on this rope that you planted so sneakily when I was sleeping next to you or was that your representative? I just don’t know for it smelled like you … felt like you … and definitely looked like you.
Hrmmm … That’s where I think I went wrong for this perception that you will not lead me to deception actually decieved me to believe that you would not do me wrong, but boy was I wrong. I was so wrong that I had to do the right thing. Let go of the yesterdays emotions of you, for todays signs of … not hearing … not recieving … any phone calls has me thinking that the day before yesterday was just a moment of intimacy leaving me to believe you were in to me but in actuallity you were into my … but I’ll leave that alone. For I will not deny that I enjoyed it myself for it felt passionate, an emotion not prone to being consoled. So I hold this emotion against me for my body was calling for this kind of affection but my mind was telling me no. So this is where this debate started, from the heart to the body to the mind. Now I’m in sorts of trouble with my kind. Proclaiming love is situated in the heart, but sex is on the mind, where the body confuses the two, love and sex. Their intereaction are like proton and electron, constantly repelling the forces until that one in a million chance that they will attract. It’s so sad that through all the relationships only one will become the one? But who says there should only be one? Maybe we bump into a bunch of ones until the right one, so were the others wrong? I doubt it. I think we meet the wrongs for the right reasons, to find Mr. Right, whoever that is. But let me go back to what I was contemplating, should I continually play this game you are playing or start a new one? I think I should cut my losses and continue on … for there is a limitless amount of love that I can to give … so why not give it to the ones who truly deserve it?
- Liza Mae
My scattered thoughts will eventually lead me to combine the pieces together, but right now my mind is trying to replay every single event until it finds the right answer to my questions.
June 8th, 2004 at 9:44 pm
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Love is motioning all emotions.
June 9th, 2004 at 12:06 am
I disagree with the above.
Sex is nothing more than a primal excercise in control. How much can I get her to do, how much can she get me to do, who will dominate, who will submit. How far can we go..
If you want emotion, if you want to be intimate…hold hands, take long walks, cook with one another, read poetry, dance in the rain, play in the park like you were children.
there are a million ways to be intimate, or to share emotion, sex is not one of them.
..riven
June 9th, 2004 at 5:19 am
You are right, thanks for the direction.
Right now I just feel confused about what I should do in the situation I am in that all these thoughts flood my mind that I can’t think straight.
I wish I could be intimate but under the current circumstances, I can’t. So there is only one thing for me to do …
“… here I stand … in the middle of my wasteland
holding this bag in my hands …
torn and dirty …
I watch the bag fall …
amongst the others that lay there …
I stop.
Gaze …
and turn around and walk away.” – Liza (Closure)
<3 - Liza
Miss you. See you in 3 weeks.
June 9th, 2004 at 9:36 am
3 weeks.
*sets his clock* Alrighty then…
June 9th, 2004 at 2:24 pm
loving the free-style spoken words spilt on this page…
i have to partially disagree with rg though. althought sex is not an emotion it can be the result of highly emotional circumstances involving love. for the most part sex is usually just a physical reaction but i personally don’t think of it as JUST a primal urge being fullfilled…i enjoy every aspect of sex and being sensual with someone.
i say start a new plan. play a game and make up ur own rules. but the rules have to be so complicated that no one understands them but u. it’s fun..trust me..try it out a few times..oh..here’s a poem involving a plan of sorts that i was reminded of when i read ur post…peace liza
tropical storm 30 nov 99
sunlight breaks
the sensuous stormy sky
raindrops run away from me
lightning massages my melancholy heart
i smiled
then i cried
so sad was i
that i couldn’t run
from my mangled mind
nothing even matters
no one can assuage
assinine feelings of insanity
but i’m sane again
5 steps took all my pain…
it’s strange however
because now
i’m on the 4 step plan
June 9th, 2004 at 9:47 pm
nice.
4 step plan. Beautiful.
This sex topic is way over my head right now … but very good point:
“sex is not an emotion it can be the result of highly emotional circumstances involving love”
=)
June 10th, 2004 at 5:27 am
Re: nice.
ur welcome :D