The other day I looked at past photographs of my closest female friends in our early 20′s and those days seem like yesterday. Though as I look at today, things have changed dramatically in the past two to three years. Most of my friends are either married or about to be married. Everyone thought I would be the first to be hitched but their predictions were wrong. I do admit I am an addict of love and relationships but at this point, my focus has changed from focusing on relationships to focusing on what I should do with my life. I always based my decisions on my relationships instead of focusing on what would make me happy without being in a relationship. I used relationships to decipher what I was feeling, how I should live, and how to make another person happy.
When a relationship was severed, I felt the same. In the end, I lost myself in the relationship and didn’t know who I was and what made me happy. It was hard to look in the mirror for I felt like my world was shattered but this isn’t the case for I still had me. I was alone for most of my life, so why would a relationship change my core being? This brought me to the realization of, ‘how can I be in a relationship and expect someone to make me happy, when I didn’t really know how to make myself happy’. Not to say that I don’t know what makes me happy but what I am really trying to figure out is, ‘what makes me content? ‘
Being content means to wake up in the morning with a smile on your face. Being content means feeling a sense of inspiration to do something productive with your day. Being content means your heart burns with passion, a passion so hot another person gets burned with it – inspiring them. Being content means waking up before the alarm for you are so excited about your day. Being content means living in the moment and not wishing to be somewhere else. Being content means appreciating what you have instead of what you don’t have. Being content means being/living your dream.
I yearn to be content.
I want to have passion, drive, and motivation. I want to find the fire that burns my fuel of life! It seems like a difficult task at hand but I know that it is within my arms reach. I figure, ‘how can one find what they are looking for if one isn’t ever lost?’ I admit I am feeling lost but I know I will find my way. For some days I get a glimpse of the life I want to live. I just need to get over some of the hurdles in my way. It seems that some of the hurdles are what I put in front of me, created out of my own fears and insecurities.
Things are more simple than they seem. Once you remove all the hurdles which are not really there, life is really simple. This is what I struggle with and try to wrap my head around. I realize this mentally but I gotta DO something about it if I want to be content.
I yearn to be content.
Until that day when I find what I want to do with my career – I will truly be ready to be in married. As of now, I need to build on my foundation for the relationships will be much stronger and more profound. I am not trying to be Miss Independent with the idea that ‘I don’t need a man’ logic, I just want to be a strong woman. When my man is down, I can be his rock. Right now I feel I can’t provide that at the moment and it is unfair to rely on another person when I have the ability to rely on myself. So it is time for me to build … be strong … and try to enjoy every minute of it (no matter how difficult life may seem).
The cold has arrived and one of my favorite accessories is a scarf and found different ways to tie a scarf. I have way too many in my collection for it depends my mood, how warm I want to be, or what outfit I am wearing. What I love about scarfs is that it can totally change your outfit for the fabrics and colours can make your outfit casual or more formal. I found a really cool video that will teach you how to tie a scarf in 25 ways, some of which are self explanatory or more complicated. I like the music, model (Wendy), and the overall direction of the video.
How to Tie a Scarf in 25 Ways
Anyways hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. You can get a more detailed ‘how-to’ by going to the video at 4:36 and clicking on the actual scarf look you desire.
Winter is not my favorite season but might as well look hot in the cold.
All I have are pixels of pictures from the past
Tracing back to that very last track
we danced to in our apartment.
As we looked at each other,
our eyes shined from the love that we shared
but then when darkness fell
we were both not prepared.
As distance had seemed to keep us separate
I became cold to the point that I cracked,
My heart froze and seemed that there was no turning back.
I once had faith but I started to slack
and had gone astray on to another path.
Until that day
Until that day
you said you were leaving,
I was in shock and
my heart started beating
out of my chest.
I couldn’t breathe
and it felt like death.
Though it wasn’t the death of me
for these feeling brought back
heat to my cold heart.
Circulating the blood in my veins.
The feelings we had
was hidden in our pain,
love was lost, and I was going insane.
Now I want to be a part
not apart from you.
because simply
I love you.
These words by Holstee Manifesto are what I live by and stand up for, though some days are challenging, never stop trying to live the life you want to live.
Lately life has been a big blur of heart felt moments both good and bad and I never felt so alive but lost at the same time. It seems I go through this cycle that goes from knowing who I am and what I am doing with my life to not knowing who I am and not knowing what I am doing. I guess when life is good, things are seen in a positive light but when I am put through difficult situations, I begin to question my life. The life challenges really test my faith and really knock me down and make me feel insecure about my being but when all obstacles are put behind me and I have jumped that hurdle I begin to believe again. I know life is a test and God doesn’t give us more than we can handle for He wants us to succeed. I try to keep my head up in these difficult times for what am I left to do? I can not sit in my sorrows for life is too short. I gotta stand up for myself, my life, and make the best of it. Though my ego wants me to believe that this is the hardest thing I have to face in the moment, I know life has many more challenges on the way. I know this is just a building block to make me stronger for things to come in my life. After all I am only dealing with Liza Mae and I don’t have to deal with a husband, kids, and in-laws. I can only fathom how many challenges life will have when my decisions directly effect those people. But for now I gotta stand up and appreciate the life that I have in front of me and the challenges life throws my way.
Motivational & Inspirational Playlist
I have compiled some of my current favorite motivational and inspirational songs that lift my spirits when life’s got me down.
“Success is my idol and being broke is my rival” – Big Sean
“So in all the bad and the good will soon come
Don’t think second best
Be number one
Spread some love
Don’t give to receive
Strive to be happy
And live to believe”
- Jessie J
In my previous review about Instagram for Beginners I discussed the basic info about Instagram and my likes and dislikes. Since then Instagram has launched a new update which has taken on a new look which I will review and also show you how to get more likes, comments, and followers.
Instagram Updates – Summary of Features
Preset borders with filters are now optional – Though this is an improvement from the previous version, you still can’t use any border with a filter.
3 new filters added – Amaro, Valencia, & Hudson
2 filters removed - Gothem & Apollo, good choice for those are filters that were specific and personally I didn’t use often. I’m glad Instagram developers are paying attention.
Editing screen is all in one – There is no need to jump from the tilt-shift screen then back to the filter screen. It can all be done in one shot.
Instagram Tips & Tricks – Get more Instagram Followers
Get noticed, use hash tags # - If you are a Tumblr or Twitter user, you can post tags by inserting hash tags like #iphoneography #photo, etc. Hash tags that you previously used will appear.
The only thing I don’t like about this feature on tumblr is that it adds the hash tag it to the description. I wish instagram removed the hash tags in tumblr.
Get personal and reply to your comments - If you want to respond personally to comments on your instagram feed, write @username, just like Twitter. When you put @, instagram propagates your contact list, making it easy to search for the person you are replying to. Instagram is NOT like facebook where it will send you a notification if someone commented on a photo.
Take picture with the Camera app – The problem with taking pictures with instagram is that the maximum resolution it saves images is 612×612 pixels. If you want to do more with the photos, like print, edit, create a desktop image, resolution will get lost. I usually use Camera+ to take all my photos.
Use the filters, borders, or tilt shift to take pictures - If you are taking the photo with instagram, there is an option on Instagram to take the picture with filters, borders, and tilt shift and what’s good about it is that it isn’t permanent. That’s right, you can change the filters even though you used a certain filter to take the photo.
I have grown to love my iPhone camera for it takes random moments like this picture of birds taking a bath in a puddle. Also, since I’ve been car-less, my walks allow me to appreciate little moments such as these for the world is at a slower pace. I encourage you to walk for it is good exercise and you start to notice things around you instead of letting the moment pass you by.
A journey is not a trip.
It’s not a vacation.
It’s a process. A discovery.
It’s a process of self-discovery.
A journey brings us face to face with ourselves.
A journey shows us not only the world,
but how we fit in it.
Does the person create the journey or does the journey create the person?
The journey is life itself.
Where will life take you?”
I’ve been wondering ‘Where will life take me’ for the last few months for my life changes have been more than I have anticipated. I’m at another crossroads of life where there are more than two options. As I look back at the last two years of life, it has been quite an amazing journey and wouldn’t go back for I have learned a lot about myself and life.
I have made mistakes along the way but what’s life without mistakes?
I’ve grown, developed, but quite possibly digressed. I thought I had my life together nearing the dreaded age of three-zero but it feels far from that. I know that this phase will pass like every crossroad I have encountered for life is about reinventing yourself time and time again. I wonder if the reinventing stage ends at any point? I guess it does, now that I think about it, it stops at death.
I’m not too sure where my journey will be or where life will take me but all I know is that it will be a hell of a ride.
Wunderlist is a to do list app which is available for iPhone, Android, iPad, on PC, Mac or on the web. I’ve been testing different apps for my iPhone and Wunderlist is one of my favorites. This is a quick review of Wunderlist – a to do list app.
Features of Wunderlist
Accessibility – You can go from your phone to your iPad to your laptop with ease.
Minimalistic design - Pretty straight forward and visually appealing
User friendly - Once you do the default tutorial, you are ready to create lists and tasks
Share lists - Whether you are planning a party with friends or doing a project with coworkers, you can collaborate with others
Set reminders – You can set up task reminders to email and/or notify you by phone
Filter tasks based on due date – For example (Today, Tomorrow, Next 7 Days)
Instantly Synchronize – With a click of a button or shortcut (Cmd/Ctrl + S) you can sync your list
FREE App!
Getting Started with Wunderlist
Download Wunderlist for your all your machines – iPhone, Android, iPad, on PC and/or Mac.
Register for your FREE Wunderlist account in 3 easy steps.
Beginners Tutorial for Wunderlist
When you first use Wunderlist, there is a default to do list which is the hands on approach on how to use Wunderlist. This is a useful beginners guide and teaches you how to (as depicted in the image below) …
Create a new task
Add lists
Edit tasks
Change backgrounds
Synchronize list and tasks
Use shortcuts
NOTE: Approximate time for Wunderlist tutorial is 10 minutes
For more extensive tutorials visit Wunderlist FAQ/Tutorial sites:
“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together.”
- Ray Bradbury
The reality is that I am back in Toronto and I am no longer in New York City! So as I read through my last entry of ‘NYC breakup or just separated?’, I must confess that is only a piece of why it was so hard to leave New York City.
So it is not the question of why it was so difficult to leave NYC but the real question that should be answered is why did I want to leave Toronto?
I was unhappy with my life in Toronto and just needed to get away from it all. So I picked up my bags and just left it all behind. I delayed this decision for awhile for I had many responsibilities that I had to attend to, mainly the properties.
As reckless as it was, I just did what I felt I needed to do and a few of my closest friends were pushing me in this direction for they seen how unhappy I was. But what really pushed me to the brinks of this decision was the fact that J extended his stay in China. This really broke me 10x more than my previous entry, ‘missing you’.
His arrival was supposed to be right before my birthday but that didn’t happen and I just lost it. All logic went out the window and I just did what I felt I needed to do. When faced with adversity you instinctively fight or flight? I choose the latter, literally and mentally. I didn’t want to fight any more battles or struggle through the stresses of my daily life.
Some can say that my situation wasn’t that bad or it could of been worse but as immature as it may sound, I just didn’t want to deal with it. I wanted to find an escape and forget it all. Though it would of been temporary, at least I knew that some how, I can find a peace/piece of mind … again.
Taken with an iPhone and Instagram App
It is like I had a clocking system of my life in Toronto, and I had to mentally check out. I stopped thinking about my repercussions or my responsibilities, I just checked out.
Now that I have finally checked back in, things started off rocky but I’m slowly picking up the pieces. It is like I have lost myself and trying to find myself again. Some days are great and other days are not so great. I’m trying to find the fine medium but at least I can see the pieces, just trying to figure out what pieces I want to keep versus leave behind.
One thing I am assured of is that everything I want in life is right in front of me. I just got to start believing in myself, as everyone has believed in me.
I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.
