Posted on 14 February 2011 by Liza Mae V.
View from my Window – Concepcion, Ilo Ilo
an edited excerpt from a journal entry I found when I was in the Philippines dated April 27, 2010.
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Today I woke up at 6am for I slept earlier due to exhaustion of the previous day. My cousin, Tonette, yelled to me to grab my camera. I ran to the patio deck that looked out to the sea and mountains that surrounded it. The breath of freshness refreshed my face and the smell of the salt water was like heaven.
Two months earlier I did not imagine this, sitting at my cubicle of my engineering job. I am content and I know the future has many brighter days ahead.
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Posted on 21 January 2011 by Liza Mae V.
It has already been 20 days since New Years Day and you probably have made some resolutions for 2011. I bet about half of you already have fallen of your track whether it be losing weight, spending time with family, or managing debt. Of the half that remain only a quarter of you will succeed in actually achieving your goal, according to a 2007 survey of over 3,000 people conducted by the British psychologist Richard Wiseman.
These are some quick solutions to to your resolution blues or reaching your goals, not in any particular order:
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Posted on 12 September 2010 by Liza Mae V.
I’ve wanted to write for quite some time but days just keep passing me by without notice. Summer is already over and I don’t know where the two months have gone. The summer of 2010 is just a vague memory and now it is a start of a new School year. Though I am no longer in school I am still being taught lessons of life. This has been a trying time in my life where I am testing new experiences and seeing where it will take me. It really has been an emotional roller coaster but I still have faith that things will work out and worrying will not produce any good. Maybe I’m naive but deep down in my heart I believe things will go my way, as they were, as they should be. I’ve dealt with skeptics and it doesn’t dishearten my spirits but gives me more hope, ironically. I feed off people’s negativity and I turn it to positivity like adding fuel to my fire.
I realized that I was too concerned about what people thought of me but in the end they are too busy to be concerned about what people thought of them. So with that vicious cycle, I decided to end it. I am done.
blar. I apologize for my randomness rant.
- Liza Mae
Posted on 20 July 2010 by Liza Mae V.
I wrote this last week but never truly finished it but here it is …
Today I woke up and I felt sort of down because we have to move again. I have lived in so many places in 2010 I feel like I have no home to just relax. My timeline really started in 2009 where I’ve been moving place to place, today will be the 10th new place I will be moving into. I’ve been living out of my suitcase ever since I arrived in China in March 2010. This may be part of the reason why I am feeling kind of lost.
During the time I’ve lived in different places I’ve left a part of me … mentally and spiritually. Some days I find myself day dreaming of the places I’ve been and faces I’ve encountered. The little boy on the street still haunts me now and then, even typing it makes me teary eyed.
When I first arrived to Manila, Philippines, my Tita Heidi picked me up from the airport. She weaved in and out of chaotic traffic filled with different types of vehicles such as Jeepney’s, Tricycles, Motorcycles, and of course pedestrians. It was humid and hot and I was grateful to have been in an air conditioned car. We finally pulled up to a stop light and a little boy, age no older than 4, put his hands on the driver side window and peered through the tinted glass. He looked like he didn’t shower for weeks and he put on the saddest face I’ve seen. Though it may have been an act so that you would feel sorry and give money to him, it still left a bad taste in my mouth. He was about the age of my nephews and I would never imagine them ever begging for money on the streets nor have I seen that on the streets of Toronto.
Part of me is heart broken and only one person truly understands what I am going through … x 10. People understand but don’t really go through the emotions as I have.
(unfinished thoughts)
- Liza Mae
Posted on 12 June 2010 by Liza Mae V.
Something happened to me when I was in Sipalay, Philippines which I thought was profound. I went swimming in the beach and I decided to walk out in the middle of the sea. I’m kind of paranoid of moving creatures or rocks I could step on especially since my cousin Karen had stepped on a sea urchin the day before. The sand was brown so the clarity of the things below water were not visible.
I was really far from the shore but the water only reached my waist. Then as I walked further I saw something bright white under water like a piece of paper. So I stopped to take a closer look and stop the waves from moving around me. The water is clear and I thought it was money. I didn’t want to swim down for I was wearing my contacts and didn’t want to open my eyes in salt water. So I called the girl with the ‘googles’, as she would pronounce it, to dive down to pick it up. As she came up from under the water, she held a 100 pesos in her hand. I was shocked for I thought it was impossible to find money in the middle of the sea. She handed it over to me and I yelled over to the people on shore,
“I found 100 pesos in the water!”
In disbelief I swam to shore to show my findings to validate that it was real and it was.
This incident made me think, that anything is possible and sometimes we just have to keep our eyes open for an opportunity can be waiting right in front of you. In my case, I found money. Maybe it is sign of fortune to come (crosses fingers) but whatever comes your way, expect the unexpected.
Now I carry the bill with me and it will remind me of the lesson I learned plus it smells like the sea.
- Liza Mae
Posted on 09 June 2010 by Liza Mae V.
It is my last day in my birth place, Bacolod City, and I am not anxious to leave at all. I feel my time here has just begun and now it is ending … for now. Many people back in Toronto believe that I’ve been away a long time but 3 months isn’t very long when you are having fun. The adventure has to start somewhere and this is just the beginning of the journey.
- Sipalay, Negros Occidental
When I first arrived I did not know what to expect nor did I know what I was going to do. So whenever any one had asked ‘when’ or ‘where’ I was headed, I had no answers for them because all I knew is that I go back to Toronto, Canada on June 20th, 2010 from Shanghai, China. I booked my flight to Manila the night before and the same for Bacolod City. Now I have booked my flight for Manila yesterday and will be leaving tonight at 8:25pm. It seems things have been moving faster than I anticipated but I learned to let the wind blow and let my heart follow.
The first few weeks I was here I thought things moved so slowly here but I realized I was so used to things moving so quickly that I didn’t know how to keep my mind still. Sometimes when life is fast-paced you don’t really have time to think or appreciate your days. Consumed in my 9 to 5 or more like 7 to 6 Mondays to Friday, I never really had time for myself and being in a place where things are slower I have become more aware of my surroundings and realized how beautiful life is. I used to dread waking up in the morning but now I wake up refreshed at 6am because there is so much beauty to experience that I just don’t want to miss out on living.
As I gaze through my friends photos on Facebook of their 1 week vacations costing thousands of dollars and compare my 3 month mini-retirement which probably cost about the same, I would always choose the latter. I don’t believe going away for a week is an actual vacation for when you get back to work, your workload just piles up and once again you become stressed out and overworked. With companies limiting the number of employees, most likely the amount of time you were away equates to the amount of work you have missed therefore your ‘vacation’ is just a distant memory which you want to relive. I say why make it a distant memory when you can decide to live that life daily. That is our current goal – to live life to the fullest!
Though this chapter is ending, a brighter chapter is ahead.
- Rainbow in Sipalay, Negros Occidental
For more pictures you can view them in my FaceBook Album.
- Liza Mae
Posted on 03 June 2010 by Liza Mae V.
As I try to come up with the words to describe what I am feeling or thinking I stumble for I can only explain so much. I have been going through extremes in the last few weeks and at one point I thought I was going to lose my mind with anxiety then something calmed me to the point of sleep. As I tried different things to take away the anxiety like yoga stretches, laying in bed listening to soft music on my iPod, nothing seemed to work. Then I saw the little red book, the Bible, at the edge of my eye and I picked it up. It was like the answer to all my questions at that defining moment. I read a part that really struck a cord in me which calmed me to the point I relaxed then went to bed peacefully. Excerpts from Philippians 4:
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
10I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
After that defining moment I realized anxiety is due to my fear of the unknown and I have always tried to pave the path before walking but now I am walking on rocky roads barefooted.
I have narrowed the gap of my extremes and have been more in the middle, also known as being content. When I realized that I need to stop controlling things I became more aware. Now everything that I saw in black and white has turned into vibrant colours. I have gained an awareness that I have never felt before. Matthiew 6:
22“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
- Liza Mae
Posted on 14 May 2010 by Liza Mae V.
I have climbed mountains, jumped islands, and swam in fresh water. I’ve never quite experienced the world like this and it is simply amazing.
A few months ago I was drowning in numbers at my cubicle, counting minutes until 5pm, and worked myself to exhaustion.
Who would have thought my life would change so drastically?
I was drinking coffee from Timmies costing $1.50, now I am drinking fresh coconut juice or even better mango shakes for less than $0.50. Who wouldn’t want to trade their life for this life I am currently savoring?
Many seem to delude themselves into believing that they need millions to enjoy life but what I’ve been experiencing is that a dollar can stretch a long way. It is not about how much money you make, but how far you can make your money work for you.
What is the point of making so much money when you don’t know what you are going to use it for? Our societies need for more is deceptive and dubious. We already have everything we need, we just WANT more but ask yourself, why is there that need?
A simple life goes a long way. Try living it.
Liza Mae
Posted on 21 April 2010 by Liza Mae V.
I’ve been away from Toronto for a month now and I’m not really missing it. I thought I had many friends but through this process I realize I have many more acquaintances. I made everyone aware that I was going away and only a few have actually tried to keep in contact with me. So you ask why I didn’t keep in contact with them? I only kept in contact with those who responded to my mass emails or have written me through different IMs. It sound selfish of me but I have been quite selfless for so long and put a lot of time into those relationships that I subconsciously said, now it is your turn to give back in this relationship. I mean, someone can only give as much as they can until they break. I am broken.
It is not even that I am unreachable because if someone really wants to contact me, I have left so many means of communication open. I can’t really accept apologies at this point because it is what it is. Someone is only as busy as they perceive, you can always make time. It is just the matter of if you WANT to make the time. I was very surprised that one of my ex-coworkers still included me in her forwards list. Even though that is silly, she still had me in her mind when creating the email.
I am glad I had the opportunity to do what I am doing and do not have any doubts about my decision. There is more to life than what I was living. Now that I look back I realize I was not truly living, I was amongst the living dead.
Tomorrow morning I am heading to a farm that has cute little puppies and of course fruits and vegetables.
My adventure continues …
- Liza Mae
