Five days of rejuvenation and renovations comes to an end once I wake tomorrow to start another work week ahead. I am not looking forward to it but I am well rested from the stress of my work life.
These past five days have been used to really focus on self and my relationship. As I was planning for this weekend, it didn’t really turn out the way I thought it was going to be and it was better than expected. I planned for a weekend of partying and socializing but it was less of that. I got to spend quality one on one time with three friends and just relaxed half the time. I took three yoga classes in five days, which I would not have time for on a regular week. It was awesome except for today’s yoga class. I realize I like grueling, make every single pore sweat, muscle shake, reach my breaking point, type of yoga, also known as Hot Yoga. I should of realized the type of class it was going to be because 95% of the class was in the demographic of 65 and older. Right now I don’t appreciate this type of thing because my workouts are all high intensity and I like being pushed beyond my limit.
As I looked around the room at all the 65+ retiree’s I thought, I don’t want to wait this long to live that life. I don’t want to work for another 40 years then appreciate life thereafter. I want to experience this life NOW while I am young and agile. These few days, I experienced a mere glimpse of the retired life and I am ready. Mi amore keeps telling me that we will retire before I turn 30 which is in less than four years from now and I really hope so. I keep holding that dream in my heart and mind, every single day. The more I speak about something, it becomes more realistic, no matter how outlandish it may sound. I have the faith to make it happen for I AM a firm believer of my dreams.
Last year, I dreamed to have a house and then I will leave. So I have the house but the latter needs to happen. I am not dissatisfied with my life in Toronto, I just feel like my life has more purpose. I want to help those that truly need and want help. I was given a privileged life to be fed daily, educated, and make an honest living. Some are not as fortunate as I and I believe that God has given me this life, so that I can help others. If I just turn my cheek the other direction, trying to negate reality of the world, am I not being cowardice and ignorant? After watching CNN Heroes it brought me back to the time when James showed me youtube videos of the missionary that he worked for in Mexico called Victory Outreach. It made me inspired to improve the quality of life of someone else less fortunate than myself, and at the same time improve myself. I want to make movements that will not only effect me but someone else. I am tired of being selfish and I am ready to give back. This is the circle of life and essentially I’ve been receiving a lot and not giving a lot. It is time.
For now I will work harder each day to achieve this goal because it is simply worth it.
I read a blog which focused on their house renovations and decided, why not write about my own experiences. I have learned a lot from watching my partner go through this process last December but I didn’t really pay attention to the details. Now that I bought my own house and he is not here physically, I’m finding out that it requires a lot of patience and hard work. Let me rewind to the beginning of the process.
Due to the recession and this false perception of job security, I have come to realize I have to take matters in to my own hand. Watching 1000′s of people being handed the pink slip at my company in one day, one being my boss, made me very weary about this whole job security perception. These cubicle walls box us in to think that they will protect us but really they are constructed with the most poorest materials. So I have decided to invest in property so that I do not have to rely on anyone else.
My name is Liza Mae and this is my house, my security.
I’ll guide you on the process to purchasing a house in Toronto.
As a child I looked upon my parents and thought, that is how my ideal life should be. Every morning my parents would wake up and get my older brother, Ritchie and I ready for school. They would get ready for work, then my brother and I would walk to school. We usually get home before them and then they’d come home from work. That was the life of working your 8 hour shift then coming home to the wife/husband and kids. It was simple, straight forward, and ordinary. That is what life supposed to be.
Now that I’ve grown in to my own person, I realize this structure just doesn’t resonate with who I am. I have followed this path thus far and I am just not content nor am I happy.
My story is such, after high school, I went to university, got my degree, landed my ideal job. It seems all fine and dandy right? But it just doesn’t feel right and makes my stomach turn with doubt. The first year of work was great because it was fresh and new. Anything fresh and new is exciting but as a Gemini or specifically, Liza Mae, I tend to lose interest quite quickly. That is the reason I need to be with someone who is always on the go and can keep up with my constant need for excitement and spontaneity. That is why J and I get along so well. Back to my point, I just feel that this normal structured life was not designed for me. I know there is more out there than the typical 9 to 5 lifestyle where you commit yourself to daily dread and suffering. Lol, yes that was a little melodramatic but I think you get my point.
Besides the job, you get married, buy a house, produce 3 children. If you are fortunate enough, you may take a couple of weeks vacation once a year to somewhere with sun and sand. When you come back, you are wishing you were back on vacation because your stay was just a tease to the ideal lifestyle.
This is the life I do not want to live. This is also known as the ‘rat race’. I am living it day to day, it is not horrible, but it is not fabulous.
I want more. I want freedom to do what I truly want and live fabulously. I see it in my future and with enough faith, WE will make it happen.
I scratch my head because thoughts flutter my mind like butterflies being born exponentially. I have dreams which seems to peak so high that it seems impossible to reach for the entirety of this society. I envision my future so vividly that it seems like I am living in it. Every day I come closer to this dream and start letting go of my tired yesterdays. I am ready. I have reached the point of exasperation, (deep breath). I have taken my last breath of this life and have gone in to the realm of freedom. I know nothing of my yesterdays, know only of my today and hope to attain my dreams of tomorrow.
Quest for Excellence
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but all I know is that I am not mediocre. I do not strive to be mediocre, so why have I settled for so long?
I am sitting on the porch soaking in the sun on a Saturday afternoon thinking of things that have progressed in the last year. I smile back on the memories and it makes me teary-eyed. Who would of thought I would be here now, a year later. I sit in a house which he envisioned a year gone. Many people speak of things they dream about but many people do not put those dreams in motion. He is a person who has made it happen.
I remember laying in my parents house with him on the left of me, speaking of a place that he and I should share together. We spoke about subletting, renting, and lastly owning a house. The first two did not happen because it was decided that the latter should happen, owning/living in a house we could call our own. So we sacrificed some freedom to save money and now here we are. I didn’t officially move out of my parents but it is apparent that I basically moved out except for some clothes that I have left there. My brother Rich, called me 10 min ago to ask me if he can move my remains in the smaller room for he is going to move in to my room for it is larger. This was like a smack in my face, not in a bad way but in a reality check type of way, “I HAVE MOVED OUT”. I go to my parents maybe once a week and when I do, it feels foreign to me. At first the house felt foreign but now I can finally call it home. We haven’t yet settled in due to renovations and the fact that we have rented majority of the house in order to reach our next goal of getting another house as an income property. I have grown to love this house and the memories we have built together. Unfortunately, it is time to build memories elsewhere, and where is that exactly? It could be helping poor children in the streets of Philippines, enjoying the busyness of the streets of Tokyo, or eating crepes with the French in Nice, France. Basically my memories are built with people in places. I do not get attached to places, I get attached to people whom I love in those places. For example, before I made friends in New York City, I wasn’t too gong-ho about it except for the shopping. After making friends, I love New York or more so, I love my friends in New York. They are the reason why I keep coming back. I still shop in New York but it is not my reason for visiting. This reminds me that I am long over due for a trip to NYC.
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So I have been meaning to post this video that I received from a co-worker, weeks back.
It made me think of things that inspire me to be. I am a pretty lazy relaxed person, so what makes me get out of bed in the morning? My desire to get another house and then retire. It is not that I want to lay in bed and watch Dr. Phil all day but I want to travel and also help people. He has showed me the organization(missionary) that he volunteered for in Mexico and it inspired me. I realized working for a corporation to make the rich richer isn’t satisfying. It is my time to help those who truly need help. There aren’t enough hands to feed those who starve, so I want to offer my hands to feed empty hearts.
I realized that I will not be able to meet deadlines due to unexpected life occurrences. Also, goals seem to change as priorities shift and realities kick in. This is not to say that I am totally dreading life, but I am actually enjoying the little moments that make up my day. I pushed off some of my goals to spend time with mi amore, family, and friends.
Last weekend for Easter I spent time with my girlfriends to celebrate Wan Ting’s birthday with dinner at a Korean restaurant, then karaoke. While we were singing my heart out to Flo Rida – Right Round, Britney Spears – Womanizer, and Usher – Love in this Club, mi amore spent time catching up with his ex. I like this balance in our relationship where we do not have to do everything together, we have our separate lives outside of the relationship. I’ve learned that mi amore may not like doing all the things that I like to do, so instead of him compromising his time, I will do it on my own. Fortunately enough, we have more things in common than not, so this is not an issue.
On Easter Sunday, we went to my family to have lunch. I always enjoy spending time with my family, especially with the kiddies. I have three nephews, all under the age of three.
Mi Amore, friends, and family are my priorities and spending time with them is worth pushing some deadlines further.
My updated update:
House is rented for May 1, so many things have to be done around the house (basement reno, cleaning, installation of washer/dryer, and small touch-ups)
Work-out schedule (Mon – Cycling | Tue – Hip Hop | Wed – Cross-training | Thu – Running | Fri – Cross-Traing, Sat – Running | Sun – Cross-Training) One to two days I will be resting, I’m not that psycho. lol
Tuesday, Apr 7th, 2009 – Although you may still have your share of work to do, it’s going to be a challenge to get it finished on time. You would be better off completing your assigned tasks today if they involve singing, listening to music, storytelling or otherwise engaging your imagination. Writing a technical manual or doing boring desk work will take constant mental readjustment now, but you can do whatever you must if you truly put your mind to it.
Hrmmm karaoke anyone? Well my job does consist of doing boring desk work, so I can only listen to music, tell a story, but horribly sing in the car. Today is Hip Hop dance class and we are dancing to Justin Timberlake – Summerlove.
Cool choreography! This isn’t my dance class but it gets me pumped.
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I haven’t started my goals as yet. I had many excuses in my mind as to why I haven’t started full throttle but I will stop myself now. I find excuses are a form of procrastination and leads to nowhere.
After a long tiring day mi amore and I usually lay in bed and conversation about random things on our minds. Last nights topic was around our visions and goals. He called me out on a couple of things: slacking on my photography, spend too much time on facebook/twitter when I can be doing something productive, not working on my beach bod and that I am simply not motivated. So I heard those words loud and clear and it stuck. For how long? Who knows but the fact that I am writing about it shows that I will do those things I negated to do. I will simply put some time lines in place so I will have some urgency to complete my tasks.
I have purchased my MacBook on Monday and I have been patiently waiting for it’s arrival. This is it’s current status:
Date/Time
Activity
Location
Details
Jan 8, 2009
8:42 AM
At local FedEx facility
TORONTO, ON
3:14 AM
At dest sort facility
MISSISSAUGA, ON
Jan 7, 2009
7:43 AM
Int’l shipment release
CALGARY, AB
6:46 AM
In transit
CALGARY, AB
Paperwork available for non-FedEx broker
2:14 AM
Departed FedEx location
MEMPHIS, TN
Jan 6, 2009
11:18 PM
Left FedEx origin facility
MEMPHIS, TN
9:36 PM
Picked up
MEMPHIS, TN
I have made goals in the past where I said I would work on my Photography and web design of my site (shameless plug..lol), but I am assuring that putting my investment into this was well worth it. I will be actively working on my creative skills for a couple of reasons: (1) asides from my 9-5 analytical job, I need to work on my artistic side, (2) I need to generate more income to buy a 2nd home, and (3) I love it!
I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.
