Archive | Love & Relationships

eternal sunshine of a spotless mind

eternal sunshine of a spotless mind

Posted on 21 February 2012 by Liza Mae V.

I take a deep breath feeling the oxygen go in through my nostrils, filling my lungs, expanding my chest and stomach, deep in to my core, and I hold the air in for two seconds and exhale the toxins within, out from my nose.

I repeat this a couple more times until my beat of my heart slows down to a relaxing level.

I feel that I am standing on the boardwalk of a beach. A beach that feels familiar …
the smell of saltiness,
the wind is cool and fresh against my skin though the sun’s heat warms me,
the sand is white and clean,
the sky is clear and blue,
the sound of waves are crashing on the sand.

Seagulls on the Boardwalk in Bahamas

I am still looking to the path of the board walk where it is desolate. I suddenly see a figure in the distance, moving towards me.

I see a vision of him …

So I begin to run towards him feeling, hearing the whispers of the wind, my hair brush against my face erratically like a tree on a windy day. As I take a step I feel the wooden boards beneath me collapse just slightly, not enough to break but resist my step. I hear my steps thud faster and faster against each wooden board as I land, fracturing the wood slightly. Though my breath is still in the same relaxed slow pace as I was standing still.

I hear a deep voice caressing my ears …
“Time to wake your body from rest … stretch … do what you do when you are waking up.”

I open my eyes to …

the ceiling of my hot yoga studio.

I digress.

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Until That Day

Posted on 17 November 2011 by Liza Mae V.

All I have are pixels of pictures from the past
Tracing back to that very last track
we danced to in our apartment.
As we looked at each other,
our eyes shined from the love that we shared
but then when darkness fell
we were both not prepared.
As distance had seemed to keep us separate
I became cold to the point that I cracked,
My heart froze and seemed that there was no turning back.
I once had faith but I started to slack
and had gone astray on to another path.
Until that day
Until that day
you said you were leaving,
I was in shock and
my heart started beating
out of my chest.
I couldn’t breathe
and it felt like death.
Though it wasn’t the death of me
for these feeling brought back
heat to my cold heart.
Circulating the blood in my veins.
The feelings we had
was hidden in our pain,
love was lost, and I was going insane.
Now I want to be a part
not apart from you.
because simply
I love you.

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25 Things you should NOT do on a First Date

Posted on 18 July 2011 by Liza Mae V.

The guy you’ve been eyeing on for months has finally done the unthinkable and asks you out on a date, so hours before you get nerves, but you shouldn’t forgot some common things you should NOT do on a first date.  Lately I’ve been around single friends who are dating I find their dating stories merely amusing and shocking at times for some things that are common sense when dating are not so common.  I have reached out to my followers through Twitter and Facebook about things men or women should not do on a date and found some common perspectives about things you should not do on a date.

25 Things you should NOT do on a First date

Please note that this list is not in any order and stories are based on true experiences of my followers.

  1. Do NOT use your phone to text, BBM, or call someone else.  This is the most common advice everyone has suggested.  No one wants to be ignored and you are on a date to get to know someone, how can one do that if you are fidgeting with your phone.
  2. Do NOT overly talk about yourself.  Ask questions and have a two-way conversation for no one want’s a self-centered person.
  3. Do NOT ask too many personal questions.  This is not a job interview so don’t ask about your date’s fears and expectations.  Keep a light-hearted conversation where you can shake off the nerves and get comfortable with each other.
  4. Do NOT go to an overly posh place, that just comes off as you trying to show off. So find a place with a fine medium.
  5. Do NOT get drunk (Max. 2 drinks).  You might need to pay attention to any small valuable details he or she might quiz you on later. For example, she likes Daisies and tulips but not roses.  Also, no one wants to be your babysitter on a date.
  6. Do NOT flirt with another person. Do not check out another girls boobs or ass, this is just disrespectful.
  7. Do NOT be late.  I am not the best advocate of being on time but you shouldn’t be too late for no one likes waiting.
  8. Do NOT order your date’s food. Unless they tell you  to order for them, you don’t know them enough to order for them, plus they may have some allergies you may not know about.
  9. Do NOT expect your date to pay for you.  If they offer to do so then great but be prepared to dish out some cash.
  10. Do NOT lie.  Be yourself and if the person doesn’t like you for who you are then they are not the person for you.
  11. Do NOT talk about the Ex.  You do not want your date to picture you having sex with someone else or dump your baggage on that person, so please leave this conversation when you are more comfortable with each other.
  12. Do NOT take the skeletons out the closet.  This means it is okay to leave out conversations about your past health issues, drug addictions, alcoholism, or black out moments.  It is okay to talk about this later on but for now, leave it out the conversation.
  13. Do NOT insinuate sex.  I am a pretty open person but for the most part if you want something serious you shouldn’t talk about this until a couple of dates in.  It is kind of creepy and you don’t want to signal that this is all you want unless that is all you want.
  14. Do NOT forget your table manners.  Do not pick at your teeth for food, burp, chew with your mouth open, or pick at your dates food without getting permission.
  15. Do NOT go to the movies.  It is hard to get to know someone at the movies for you can not really talk at the movies, so find somewhere you can communicate.
  16. Do NOT talk about marriage.  I was watching Millionaire Matchmaker and the guy immediately proposed to the girl on the first date which is rather appalling, who does that?  You can talk about marriage and that you want to get married in the the future but do not propose on the first date.
  17. Do NOT be a flake.  If you planned to meeting this person, please keep your commitments.  It is hard enough asking someone out on a date wether it is online or inperson, so please do not stand up your date.
  18. Do NOT be a gold digger.  So refrain from asking for a Gucci watch on a date or a trip to Spain.  This person could be your future wife or husband, not your bank account.
  19. Do NOT talk about money.  Wether you are in financial debt or financial set, this is a private matter.  This will cause the person to judge you in a certain way and you want judgements to be left out of the date, especially when it comes to money.
  20. Do NOT criticize your date.  This is negative energy which no one wants to be around, so stay positive and compliment your date, no matter how much you hate the tie he is wearing.  After all, no one likes to be critiqued.
  21. Do NOT talk about religion.   This can lead to heated discussion, so it is fine to talk about what basic religion beliefs but going in too deep about it can ruin the date.  Everyone has their own perspective about it and it can be a touchy subject, so keep it simple.
  22. Do NOT talk about politics.  Similar to religion.
  23. Do NOT talk about your kids.  It is fine to mention you have kids but do not talk in too much detail about them for there is an obvious past involved with your kids.  See #10.
  24. Do NOT be rude to your server.  This is a real turn off for actions speak louder than words.  You had a great date but the signals you give out when you treat your server poorly shows that you are a jerk.
  25. Do NOT be disgusting. So don’t pick your nose or wedgie, talk about bowel movements, blow your nose at the dinner table, or do any Jack Ass movie remakes.  This is just gross and uncomfortable.
First dates are uncomfortable and awkward, so don’t take it too seriously if it doesn’t work out.  I hope you enjoyed the 25 things you should NOT do on a first date.  Have any more advice?  Leave a comment.

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live life with no regrets … just love and appreciate

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live life with no regrets … just love and appreciate

Posted on 25 May 2011 by Liza Mae V.

“So here I am sitting in a corner
feeling the world around me, slowly caving in …
watching the walls coming closer
as I shrivel up into a ball
getting smaller and smaller …
Feeling the pressure incase me
trapping my soul …
For after death, my souls all I have,
and as I take my last breaths
I appreciate what life I have left …
just gotta live life with
NO REGRETS”

– Liza Mae (Drunken State in Kentucky – May 20, 2005)

 

Live Life with No Regrets

another year of my life has passed and as I trace back my past … I smile with great appreciation.  As of late, I started to look at all the people in my life with such love and appreciation that I am starting to feel all this love in my heart that it shows in everything I do.  I’m sure the love was always there but I took it for granted and I apologize.  Now that I’m starting to pay attention I feel truly loved.  Maybe it is due to the fact that I started to look for love within myself and God that it transferred outwardly to people around me.

Press Play.

“My friends wonder what is wrong with me
‘Coz I’m caught up in a hazy love, you see
It’s comeback to let me know
Got a thing called love and it won’t let go

Love is the word, have you heard, it’s superb
It’s got groove, it’s got style, it’s got feeling
Love is the word that I’ve heard
It’s so hard to describe what it is that I’m feeling|

What you know about love?
The truest kinda love I know
Is when I love myself for my soul
What good am I to you if I don’t love myself
Before I love someone else?

The realest kinda love I know
Is when I learn to love and let go,
Sometimes you cannot hold on to
To the river when, when it flows”

– Sweet Back | Love is the Word

I have never felt this way before and I hope the feeling doesn’t fade.  I appreciate everyone that has influenced my life in the most positive ways for you light up my life.  The least I can do is show my appreciation.

Thank You from Liza Mae

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missing you

Posted on 23 May 2011 by Liza Mae V.

Sunday February 20, 2011

We arrived at the airport and he opened the trunk to grab his luggage.  We exchange words and actions of love.  As tears fell down my face, I felt my heart shake at its core like an earthquake.

I dreaded this morning for the past month and tried to control my feelings because I’ve been here before … so it should be easy right?  WRONG!  The feelings I have are still the same and I can never really get used to separating with the one I love.  I know that the first few days would be rough and that is something I’ve got to accept.  Everything reminds me of him.  A web page, a TV show, his writing on random pieces of paper, and the list goes on.  I have already written a list of things I miss about him when he went to China last year and I just had to read it again for those things haven’t changed.  Maybe I should write a post about what reminds me of him, lol, maybe another day.

Case – Missing You

today’s … long distance outlook

Things are not as bad as when I wrote that in terms of being so reminiscent of everything, as time moves on I’ve become detached to those things for I would go insane.  Long distance relationships are challenging for the mere fact that we are living in opposite time zones, living in different continents, and things are just different.  My distance is at an extreme but it doesn’t shake the feeling like many couple’s distance can be in different states/provinces, cities, or even just boroughs – long distance is defined as not being able to see each other for the distance separates you from having a ‘normal’ relationship.  It is difficult regardless of how far for it is all the same feeling.

Black Eyed Peas – Missing You

So how am I coping?

It feels like I am on an emotional roller coaster where I have days of pure greatness, then I have a great deal of sadness, and there are points in between.  I look on the times of greatness and I realized I couldn’t have done it with my friends and family.  I appreciate each and everyone who has had to hear my rants whether it was in person or via text.  I wouldn’t of made it without you.  I thank you and I love you!!!

on a happier track … Calvin Harris – Bounce feat. Kelis

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thoughts vs. feelings

Posted on 04 May 2010 by Liza Mae V.

The first days of my vacation were pretty awesome and filled with many things to do but I realized that it just hindered my feelings for him. Even as I was doing things that I loved doing, he was always on my mind. As I climbed the mountain, I thought of how much fun it would be if he were here and thoughts like that kept going through my mind. As I jumped on the Jeepney, I thought he would think this was an adventure. As I explored the beaches, I thought how he would love to be here. As I sat and drank from a fresh coconut just picked from the tree, I thought how much he loved coconuts and that was his favorite thing in the world. All these things made me realize how much I missed his presence and also how much he would love this place I am from, the Philippines. That was my reason for staying longer so that he can come here and see it for himself but I don’t know how long I can live without him. Extending my stay for another 5-6 weeks seems like eternity. I can keep myself occupied and find things to do but I am home sick, for my home is where my heart is. I never of thought I would get this feeling while I was here but love is a crazy thing. It makes you feel things you have never felt or thought you would feel or do.

– Liza Mae

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Do You Believe in Happy Endings?

Do You Believe in Happy Endings?

Posted on 25 March 2010 by Liza Mae V.

Keep Moving

As I stepped out of the plane with my backpack and carry-on luggage, I went through the regular process of going to Chinese customs, picking up my two big luggage putting them on a FREE push cart, and going through no bag checks.  The process seemed to flow smoothly, more so than I expected because usually there is always some sort of set back when I travel.

Continue Reading

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an excerpt: a day while you were gone

Posted on 11 January 2010 by Liza Mae V.

I was going to write a novel for Nanowrimo but I wasn’t successful but here is an excerpt from the 10,000+ words that I did manage to write which is a detailed story of one of my routine Mondays while he was away.

++++

My phone alarm goes off and I’ve been trying to find many ways to turn it off.  “I wake up this morning, I got myself a gun …”  The Sopranos theme song is repeating, over and over.  For some reason I don’t know why it keeps going when I am constantly pressing end.  My blackberry has been on the constant fritz due to my constant usage.  STOP damn it!  STOP!  Finally I decide to take out the battery but it still doesn’t stop.  I think I’m going crazy … then I wake up.

The reality is that my alarm kept going off but I was stuck between reality and dream.  I stared at my phone and it has been going off for the past fourteen minutes.  I click the Dismiss button and I was relieved that I am not crazy, it was just a dream.  Laughing at myself I stare at my bedroom ceiling, not wanting to get up to another mundane Monday.  I miss him dearly.  I check my messages and there is no sign of him.  I flip open my Macbook and he left me a few messages on my Yahoo messanger, looking for me at 5:55am.  Why is he contacting me so early?  Was it something important?

I pick up my cordless phone and scrummage for my phone card.  Dial the local number, then the pin, then his Shanghai phone number.  The ring tone is so different, it is music playing with a Chinese lady speaking in Mandarin.  “Knee how?” etc.  I’m not too sure what the rest means but she says a bunch of stuff which I do not understand.  He finally picks.
“Hi!”
“Hey Babe, why’d you write me so early?”
“Ohh I forgot you turned the clocks over there, they don’t do that here.”

We have this routine since he left to sign online every morning, Eastern Time, which is his evening.  We are living in time lines of twelve hour but now thirteen hour difference.  It is so opposite that our schedules conflict between the hours of 12 and 7 because that is when I am sleeping or vice versa.  Those are 7 hours of time where we are just unreachable.  So we schedule morning talks or early evenings.  The sound of his voice in the morning is typically soothing.  He calms my last nerve like the sound of the ocean. We are an ocean and continent away and it drives me nuts.  I miss him so much I would depart my life to be with him.  I just can’t leave right now.

I throw on my hair straightener and remain on the phone with him chatting about his day.  He is not happy in Shanghai because his students are more than normal brats.  It has to do with the one child policy that they have.  The parents treat them like prince or princess’ because the parents fear getting in bad terms with their kids, which makes so much sense.  Parents fear is ‘who is going to take care of us when we get old?’, ‘Our Child’.  So parents have to treat their kids like they are on a pedestal and it manifests in to the brats which my boyfriend has to teach.  Everyone questioned why he wanted to go there in the first place and it had to do with him learning Mandarin and the opportunity just sprung up.  In a matter of days I was sending him on his way and here I am.

I look at the clocks and I don’t know if I should trust them since I haven’t changed my clocks back.  So I look at my blackberry and I’m running late, as usual.  So I hung up on him and threw on my brown pants and my white argyle sweater with a hole in the armpit.  I know I won’t be lifting my arm all day, so screw it I’ll wear it anyway.  I throw some stuff in my lunch bag and yell to my mother to get ready to get going.  I run to my 1997 Mazda Protege, at its last days or months.  I need to warm up that junk before I go because that is what my Uncle Herman said to do.  So I run back to the house and grab my gym bag, lunch bag, and purse.  I am out the door.

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let it flow

Posted on 02 January 2010 by Liza Mae V.

stomach turns with the thoughts of you
it is like I’ve traveled on a jet plane
that has gone through turbulence
not that it is a bad thing because
sometimes we need to be scared
sometimes we need to live in fear
for it reminds us how alive we are.

I just want to stand on the edge of a cliff
and scream on top of my lungs
let it all out
lose control
for I feel trapped
in my own skin
yell out to the rest of the world
so I can be heard
and I can finally be freed
from the oppression
of this life.

This life which I have created
this life I have destroyed
this life of sorrow and joy.
I just want to … be.
Happy.

I have embraced this life
held it in the palms of my hands
and let it get out of control
more than I wanted
but who am I to dictate
which way water flows?

I am just laying on my raft
staring into the sky
which surrounds me
and appreciating every cloud
hovering above
with my hands interlaced behind my head
just smiling with the thoughts
of us back on the same wave
of existence.

Just a few days remain …
Countdown To James Arrival

– Liza Mae

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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