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Tags: dreams, hopes, inspiration, life, love, Travel, video

keep moving forward … desire to be inspired

Posted on 25 April 2009 by Liza Mae V.

I am sitting on the porch soaking in the sun on a Saturday afternoon thinking of things that have progressed in the last year. I smile back on the memories and it makes me teary-eyed. Who would of thought I would be here now, a year later. I sit in a house which he envisioned a year gone. Many people speak of things they dream about but many people do not put those dreams in motion. He is a person who has made it happen.

I remember laying in my parents house with him on the left of me, speaking of a place that he and I should share together. We spoke about subletting, renting, and lastly owning a house. The first two did not happen because it was decided that the latter should happen, owning/living in a house we could call our own. So we sacrificed some freedom to save money and now here we are. I didn’t officially move out of my parents but it is apparent that I basically moved out except for some clothes that I have left there. My brother Rich, called me 10 min ago to ask me if he can move my remains in the smaller room for he is going to move in to my room for it is larger. This was like a smack in my face, not in a bad way but in a reality check type of way, “I HAVE MOVED OUT”. I go to my parents maybe once a week and when I do, it feels foreign to me. At first the house felt foreign but now I can finally call it home. We haven’t yet settled in due to renovations and the fact that we have rented majority of the house in order to reach our next goal of getting another house as an income property. I have grown to love this house and the memories we have built together. Unfortunately, it is time to build memories elsewhere, and where is that exactly? It could be helping poor children in the streets of Philippines, enjoying the busyness of the streets of Tokyo, or eating crepes with the French in Nice, France. Basically my memories are built with people in places. I do not get attached to places, I get attached to people whom I love in those places. For example, before I made friends in New York City, I wasn’t too gong-ho about it except for the shopping. After making friends, I love New York or more so, I love my friends in New York. They are the reason why I keep coming back. I still shop in New York but it is not my reason for visiting. This reminds me that I am long over due for a trip to NYC.

+++

So I have been meaning to post this video that I received from a co-worker, weeks back.

It made me think of things that inspire me to be. I am a pretty lazy relaxed person, so what makes me get out of bed in the morning? My desire to get another house and then retire. It is not that I want to lay in bed and watch Dr. Phil all day but I want to travel and also help people. He has showed me the organization(missionary) that he volunteered for in Mexico and it inspired me. I realized working for a corporation to make the rich richer isn’t satisfying. It is my time to help those who truly need help. There aren’t enough hands to feed those who starve, so I want to offer my hands to feed empty hearts.

What inspires you to be?

- Liza Mae

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Tags: dance, gemini, goals, hip hop, plans, video

Gemini’s Horoscope | Vision & Goals Update

Posted on 07 April 2009 by Liza Mae V.

Tuesday, Apr 7th, 2009 – Although you may still have your share of work to do, it’s going to be a challenge to get it finished on time. You would be better off completing your assigned tasks today if they involve singing, listening to music, storytelling or otherwise engaging your imagination. Writing a technical manual or doing boring desk work will take constant mental readjustment now, but you can do whatever you must if you truly put your mind to it.

Hrmmm karaoke anyone? Well my job does consist of doing boring desk work, so I can only listen to music, tell a story, but horribly sing in the car. Today is Hip Hop dance class and we are dancing to Justin Timberlake – Summerlove.

Cool choreography! This isn’t my dance class but it gets me pumped.

+++

I haven’t started my goals as yet. I had many excuses in my mind as to why I haven’t started full throttle but I will stop myself now. I find excuses are a form of procrastination and leads to nowhere.

My update:

Edit lizamae[dot]com’s Posts from LJ – estimated 250 posts (May 1st)
Edit photos for web portfolio/photo book/flickr (April 13)
Design website for www.luxavision.com (April 27)
Get more photography clients (on going)
Weight train minimum of 3x a week (start this week) – 1x last week.
Eat healthier – Somewhat

- Liza Mae

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a near but distant memory

Posted on 03 March 2009 by Liza Mae V.

I digress into my empty bed with thoughts of him in my head …
skin touching skin within the confines of this room
filled with a single mattress on the floor
where scattered sheets cover us from the world of chaos
I touch the skin protecting his stomach
inch by inch I feel the bumps and curves of his masculinity
I paint a picture with my fingers … in my mind
memorizing every little detail and intricacy of his kind
for he is truly beautiful and divine.
We’ll be together in time but for now
I have this near but distant memory.

- Liza Mae

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lover’s quarrel

Posted on 22 February 2009 by Liza Mae V.

The early hours of Sunday morning I sit here with my earphones listening to a India.Arie’s new album Testimony Vol. 2 Love and Politics for the first time while feeling the material of the seat warm my bottom and seeing my love on my right peripheral sitting in front of his laptop. A stranger would not even recognize that we had an argument a moment prior because it is usually calm after a storm. I learned to let him digest his emotions or more so, it helps me to digest as well. So here I sit, blurry visioned due to tears that formed in my eyes that are beginning to fall … drop by drop they shatter on my thighs. Content in his eyes so deep I can feel them. We are passionate lovers and unfortunately when we argue it is passionate as well. Lately things have not been smooth and I am hoping this month of dread will end soon. My co-worker told me that February is the month of gloom, so far I feel as though she is correct.

I have been negating his words and mine … the story begins.

As he was explaining to me the things that I have been doing to annoy him in the past week, I thought,

“that is a lot of shit I have been putting him through and yet he remains … he loves me.”

I wanted to smile but I didn’t think it was appropriate for the situation, so I smiled in my thoughts. I can put the blame on him for what has been going on with us but I don’t like to blame my lover, for I know I have caused some of the turmoil. Plus putting blame on someone does not resolve the situation … so I take each word that compose a sentence that rolls off his luscious lips, as-is. No twisting it or defending myself, I come unshielded from the words that hurt. I realize I was not being understanding or even listening to what he has to say because of my lack of humility. I have been selfish. ♪ “you the f**king best, your the best I’ve ever had” ♪ by Drake – Best I Ever Had I can’t say sorry because it does not solve anything nor does it take back the facts of my actions/reactions.

I am going to meditate.

45 min. of dancing and cycling + 75 min. meditating + 30 min. in the shower = a grounded and relaxed Liza Mae. During that time I brought myself back to the ground and back to the present. I realize I have been floating for awhile negating reality. I broke down a couple times, once on the bike and the other while listening to ♪ India.Arie – He Heals me. ♪. I did not relate the song to him but to God instead. I haven’t prayed to God in a long time and today was one day I needed to feel loved by him and he gave me the answers to my boundless questions. One can call it a moment of enlightenment.

So I came downstairs and he was in the same spot I have left him, in front of his laptop. I was going to grab his hand and he reached for me and held me tight. This time I had tears of happiness because I have never felt so loved before. The heated passion turned in to burning passion that released the conflicts of this morning. It is great how time can heal an open wound and bring love back into the heart.

-Liza Mae

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Posted on 27 January 2009 by Liza Mae V.

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Tags: "Live your LIfe", inspiration, life, quote

Mantra from the Dalai Lama | Just a Short Buddhist Outlook on Life

Posted on 18 December 2008 by Liza Mae V.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
+ This year I have taken a big risk in leaving my comfortable four year relationship for the unknown and it resulted in my great love for mi amore and especially myself. It is time to take more risks for 2009.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
+ When faced with the same situation, I sometimes forget the lesson learned and repeat my mistakes but I am learning to break this habit. I have already begin to do so because I am conscious of it now.

3. Follow the three R’s:

Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
+ Very true, it has happened a couple of times in my favour.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
+ Rules who needs rules?

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.
+ Hrmmm, it seems I don’t do this enough. I am always around people, whether it be at home or at work.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
+ I am guilty for this occasionally. In a heated argument things slip up but I do keep this in mind.

14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
+ I have traveled this year but I don’t think anywhere new – Miami, New York, Montreal.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
+ =)

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

- Liza Mae V

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Tags: love, mi amor, mother, relationships

Happy Days

Posted on 26 November 2008 by Liza Mae V.

I just got home from dropping him off and his presence still lingers. I lay on the left side of the bed, leaving space for him though I know that isn’t ’til tomorrow. I have developed this habit of making space, not quite filled at the moment. So I take a deep breath and think of the days to come when we will be connected as one consistently.

On Monday I was eating dinner and my mother had asked what mi amor was gonna eat, but I said he wasn’t here. She seemed shocked at my response. We see each other almost daily and I don’t seem to get sick of him. He is the highlight of my day because he makes me smile, laugh, and best of all he makes me feel LOVED!!!

3 more weeks …

Liza Mae
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

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Tags: love, poetry

verbal outage

Posted on 06 November 2008 by Liza Mae V.

I sit here staring at this blank canvas …

thinking.

I am trying to organize my thoughts
but it seems I keep getting lost.

A.D.D. got the best of me,
thinking of … him
dreaming of … when

stressing about … what could of been
throwing the remains in a box to be forgotten
I’ll start this weekend …
begin with anything resembling him.

re-reading the prior all over again, trying to come up with something
but I keep on thinking …

I want to let it out but my fingers can’t catch up …

BLAR!!!
(re-read)
(re-read)
(singing … Just Dance … going to be okay … just dance … going to be okay .. dance dance dance)

+++

It seems most of my material things are either, falling apart, getting lost, being fixed, or getting replaced.

1. My car’s windshield had a small crack that became a crack straight across, now replaced.
2. My car’s light was no longer shining because of wiring issues, now fixed.
3. My FM Transmitter was lost, now replaced but still hoping to find it.
4. My spare iPod USB is lost, still lost.
5. My clothe dryer was no longer heating just tumbling, now replaced.
6. My PC’s CD Burner and Universal Media card reader are no longer recognized, I need to replace/temporarily fix.

I know it seems like I am falling apart but there is one thing in my life that seems to be going RIGHT!

7. My heart was broken, now is fixed.

Things seem to feel so different this time. I feel FREEdom and with that I have gained some wisdom. I have learned a lot about myself and about others. Continuously learning … growing … loving … forgiving …

I digress … ’tis late.

Liza Mae

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Tags: love, poetry, relationships

Undescribable Passion – Freestyle

Posted on 14 October 2008 by Liza Mae V.

This just came out the way it did and sorry if it is too hard to understand …

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The passion between us is so strong that it still resonates within me. I crumble with the thoughts of us together. It has been six days too long since we were in close proximity and the moment that he came close to me, I reached pure bliss. It was an euphoric moment. The thoughts of us makes my knees weak and stomach turn. I can not even describe this connection we share because there are not enough words to describe this feeling. I am still lost for words but the only words that seem to flow from my lips are “I love you” and those words are not even enough, so I try to show this love with my touch, my kisses, my smile. His eyes glow while I stare back at them and his eyes smile with his lips. I can barely type this because the passion is too much for my mind to catch up to it. I can not really describe it but all I know is that it makes my soul smile – it makes me happy inside and out.

Wearing her heart on her sleeve,

- Liza Mae

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