Archive | Poetry

eternal sunshine of a spotless mind

eternal sunshine of a spotless mind

Posted on 21 February 2012 by Liza Mae V.

I take a deep breath feeling the oxygen go in through my nostrils, filling my lungs, expanding my chest and stomach, deep in to my core, and I hold the air in for two seconds and exhale the toxins within, out from my nose.

I repeat this a couple more times until my beat of my heart slows down to a relaxing level.

I feel that I am standing on the boardwalk of a beach. A beach that feels familiar …
the smell of saltiness,
the wind is cool and fresh against my skin though the sun’s heat warms me,
the sand is white and clean,
the sky is clear and blue,
the sound of waves are crashing on the sand.

Seagulls on the Boardwalk in Bahamas

I am still looking to the path of the board walk where it is desolate. I suddenly see a figure in the distance, moving towards me.

I see a vision of him …

So I begin to run towards him feeling, hearing the whispers of the wind, my hair brush against my face erratically like a tree on a windy day. As I take a step I feel the wooden boards beneath me collapse just slightly, not enough to break but resist my step. I hear my steps thud faster and faster against each wooden board as I land, fracturing the wood slightly. Though my breath is still in the same relaxed slow pace as I was standing still.

I hear a deep voice caressing my ears …
“Time to wake your body from rest … stretch … do what you do when you are waking up.”

I open my eyes to …

the ceiling of my hot yoga studio.

I digress.

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Until That Day

Posted on 17 November 2011 by Liza Mae V.

All I have are pixels of pictures from the past
Tracing back to that very last track
we danced to in our apartment.
As we looked at each other,
our eyes shined from the love that we shared
but then when darkness fell
we were both not prepared.
As distance had seemed to keep us separate
I became cold to the point that I cracked,
My heart froze and seemed that there was no turning back.
I once had faith but I started to slack
and had gone astray on to another path.
Until that day
Until that day
you said you were leaving,
I was in shock and
my heart started beating
out of my chest.
I couldn’t breathe
and it felt like death.
Though it wasn’t the death of me
for these feeling brought back
heat to my cold heart.
Circulating the blood in my veins.
The feelings we had
was hidden in our pain,
love was lost, and I was going insane.
Now I want to be a part
not apart from you.
because simply
I love you.

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live life with no regrets … just love and appreciate

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live life with no regrets … just love and appreciate

Posted on 25 May 2011 by Liza Mae V.

“So here I am sitting in a corner
feeling the world around me, slowly caving in …
watching the walls coming closer
as I shrivel up into a ball
getting smaller and smaller …
Feeling the pressure incase me
trapping my soul …
For after death, my souls all I have,
and as I take my last breaths
I appreciate what life I have left …
just gotta live life with
NO REGRETS”

– Liza Mae (Drunken State in Kentucky – May 20, 2005)

 

Live Life with No Regrets

another year of my life has passed and as I trace back my past … I smile with great appreciation.  As of late, I started to look at all the people in my life with such love and appreciation that I am starting to feel all this love in my heart that it shows in everything I do.  I’m sure the love was always there but I took it for granted and I apologize.  Now that I’m starting to pay attention I feel truly loved.  Maybe it is due to the fact that I started to look for love within myself and God that it transferred outwardly to people around me.

Press Play.

“My friends wonder what is wrong with me
‘Coz I’m caught up in a hazy love, you see
It’s comeback to let me know
Got a thing called love and it won’t let go

Love is the word, have you heard, it’s superb
It’s got groove, it’s got style, it’s got feeling
Love is the word that I’ve heard
It’s so hard to describe what it is that I’m feeling|

What you know about love?
The truest kinda love I know
Is when I love myself for my soul
What good am I to you if I don’t love myself
Before I love someone else?

The realest kinda love I know
Is when I learn to love and let go,
Sometimes you cannot hold on to
To the river when, when it flows”

– Sweet Back | Love is the Word

I have never felt this way before and I hope the feeling doesn’t fade.  I appreciate everyone that has influenced my life in the most positive ways for you light up my life.  The least I can do is show my appreciation.

Thank You from Liza Mae

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a near but distant memory

Posted on 03 March 2009 by Liza Mae V.

I digress into my empty bed with thoughts of him in my head …
skin touching skin within the confines of this room
filled with a single mattress on the floor
where scattered sheets cover us from the world of chaos
I touch the skin protecting his stomach
inch by inch I feel the bumps and curves of his masculinity
I paint a picture with my fingers … in my mind
memorizing every little detail and intricacy of his kind
for he is truly beautiful and divine.
We’ll be together in time but for now
I have this near but distant memory.

– Liza Mae

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verbal outage

Posted on 06 November 2008 by Liza Mae V.

I sit here staring at this blank canvas …

thinking.

I am trying to organize my thoughts
but it seems I keep getting                                               lost.

A.D.D. got the best of me,
thinking of … him
dreaming of … when

stressing about … what could of been
throwing the remains in a box to be forgotten
I’ll start this weekend …
begin with anything resembling him.

re-reading the prior all over again, trying to come up with something
but I keep on thinking …

I want to let it out but my fingers can’t catch up …

BLAR!!!
(re-read)
(re-read)
(singing … Just Dance … going to be okay … just dance … going to be okay .. dance dance dance)

+++

It seems most of my material things are either, falling apart, getting lost, being fixed, or getting replaced.

1. My car’s windshield had a small crack that became a crack straight across, now replaced.
2. My car’s light was no longer shining because of wiring issues, now fixed.
3. My FM Transmitter was lost, now replaced but still hoping to find it.
4. My spare iPod USB is lost, still lost.
5. My clothe dryer was no longer heating just tumbling, now replaced.
6. My PC’s CD Burner and Universal Media card reader are no longer recognized, I need to replace/temporarily fix.
I know it seems like I am falling apart but there is one thing in my life that seems to be going RIGHT!
7. My heart was broken, now is fixed.
Things seem to feel so different this time.  I feel FREEdom and with that I have gained some wisdom.  I have learned a lot about myself and about others.  Continuously learning … growing … loving … forgiving …
I digress … ’tis late.

Liza Mae

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Undescribable Passion – Freestyle

Posted on 14 October 2008 by Liza Mae V.

This just came out the way it did and sorry if it is too hard to understand …

+++

The passion between us is so strong that it still resonates within me.  I crumble with the thoughts of us together.  It has been six days too long since we were in close proximity and the moment that he came close to me, I reached pure bliss.  It was an euphoric moment.  The thoughts of us makes my knees weak and stomach turn.  I can not even describe this connection we share because there are not enough words to describe this feeling.  I am still lost for words but the only words that seem to flow from my lips are “I love you” and those words are not even enough, so I try to show this love with my touch, my kisses, my smile.  His eyes glow while I stare back at them and his eyes smile with his lips.  I can barely type this because the passion is too much for my mind to catch up to it.  I can not really describe it but all I know is that it makes my soul smile – it makes me happy inside and out.

Wearing her heart on her sleeve,

– Liza Mae

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Dysfuntional Mind

Posted on 06 May 2008 by Liza Mae V.

i have been going through an emotional roller coaster …

ups . . ..                                                   highs ….                                                     .   &   .
&                                &                              &                                 ….                           .  .  .
. . . . downs                                                   . .  . . lows

i am happy when i am with HIM … but sad when i see the pain i have ’caused in him.
HE pushes me away slightly … he tries to pull me close but i resist.
i know this is new and fear the unknown with HIM … but i know he will fight or die for me.
i should stop thinking too far ahead.
i am here sitting at my desk.
i need to awaken the happiness that resides in me
instead of thinking of the unhappiness that surrounds me.

dysfunctional mind.

– Liza Mae

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love is on auto

Posted on 29 August 2005 by Liza Mae V.

Opening my eyes
I see you now
hoping to see you
in my tomorrows
and if only
my maybe’s
are certainties
I wouldn’t be
so careful about
these feelings
thought to be delusions
thought to be reality
thought’s not worth thinking about
because my thoughts
only rot this beauty
my taintedness
possessed from
past experiences
which shouldn’t be here
they should
be steered away from
before they become
problematic
because love should
be automatic.

-Liza Mae

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Step by Step

Posted on 11 July 2005 by Liza Mae V.

I had to push this piece I wrote on July 7th, 2005 when I was in deep thought.


Questions were raised between the validity of our relations.

 

Is this love or infatuation?

 

Is this more than a creation of

my mental compensation

for the feeling of

loss or lack of sensation?

 

Now I’m contemplating my position

and its time to make a decision.

 

Is this real

or a realization

of my imagination?

 

I think of my past

and current expectations,

before I did not have all these limitations.

Maybe that’s what’s frustrating.

I’m moving to fast

when I’ve go to take it slow

I want it all now

When I have years

to grow old … with you,

Get to know you

and be able to hold you,

console in you,

to loser control with you.

Because I love you…

-Liza Mae

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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