Posted on 17 November 2011 by Liza Mae V.
All I have are pixels of pictures from the past
Tracing back to that very last track
we danced to in our apartment.
As we looked at each other,
our eyes shined from the love that we shared
but then when darkness fell
we were both not prepared.
As distance had seemed to keep us separate
I became cold to the point that I cracked,
My heart froze and seemed that there was no turning back.
I once had faith but I started to slack
and had gone astray on to another path.
Until that day
Until that day
you said you were leaving,
I was in shock and
my heart started beating
out of my chest.
I couldn’t breathe
and it felt like death.
Though it wasn’t the death of me
for these feeling brought back
heat to my cold heart.
Circulating the blood in my veins.
The feelings we had
was hidden in our pain,
love was lost, and I was going insane.
Now I want to be a part
not apart from you.
because simply
I love you.
Posted on 25 May 2011 by Liza Mae V.
“So here I am sitting in a corner
feeling the world around me, slowly caving in …
watching the walls coming closer
as I shrivel up into a ball
getting smaller and smaller …
Feeling the pressure incase me
trapping my soul …
For after death, my souls all I have,
and as I take my last breaths
I appreciate what life I have left …
just gotta live life with
NO REGRETS”
- Liza Mae (Drunken State in Kentucky – May 20, 2005)

another year of my life has passed and as I trace back my past … I smile with great appreciation. As of late, I started to look at all the people in my life with such love and appreciation that I am starting to feel all this love in my heart that it shows in everything I do. I’m sure the love was always there but I took it for granted and I apologize. Now that I’m starting to pay attention I feel truly loved. Maybe it is due to the fact that I started to look for love within myself and God that it transferred outwardly to people around me.
Press Play.
“My friends wonder what is wrong with me
‘Coz I’m caught up in a hazy love, you see
It’s comeback to let me know
Got a thing called love and it won’t let go
Love is the word, have you heard, it’s superb
It’s got groove, it’s got style, it’s got feeling
Love is the word that I’ve heard
It’s so hard to describe what it is that I’m feeling|
What you know about love?
The truest kinda love I know
Is when I love myself for my soul
What good am I to you if I don’t love myself
Before I love someone else?
The realest kinda love I know
Is when I learn to love and let go,
Sometimes you cannot hold on to
To the river when, when it flows”
- Sweet Back | Love is the Word
I have never felt this way before and I hope the feeling doesn’t fade. I appreciate everyone that has influenced my life in the most positive ways for you light up my life. The least I can do is show my appreciation.

Posted on 03 March 2009 by Liza Mae V.
I digress into my empty bed with thoughts of him in my head …
skin touching skin within the confines of this room
filled with a single mattress on the floor
where scattered sheets cover us from the world of chaos
I touch the skin protecting his stomach
inch by inch I feel the bumps and curves of his masculinity
I paint a picture with my fingers … in my mind
memorizing every little detail and intricacy of his kind
for he is truly beautiful and divine.
We’ll be together in time but for now
I have this near but distant memory.
- Liza Mae
Posted on 06 November 2008 by Liza Mae V.
I sit here staring at this blank canvas …
thinking.
I am trying to organize my thoughts
but it seems I keep getting lost.
A.D.D. got the best of me,
thinking of … him
dreaming of … when
stressing about … what could of been
throwing the remains in a box to be forgotten
I’ll start this weekend …
begin with anything resembling him.
re-reading the prior all over again, trying to come up with something
but I keep on thinking …
I want to let it out but my fingers can’t catch up …
BLAR!!!
(re-read)
(re-read)
(singing … Just Dance … going to be okay … just dance … going to be okay .. dance dance dance)
+++
It seems most of my material things are either, falling apart, getting lost, being fixed, or getting replaced.
1. My car’s windshield had a small crack that became a crack straight across, now replaced.
2. My car’s light was no longer shining because of wiring issues, now fixed.
3. My FM Transmitter was lost, now replaced but still hoping to find it.
4. My spare iPod USB is lost, still lost.
5. My clothe dryer was no longer heating just tumbling, now replaced.
6. My PC’s CD Burner and Universal Media card reader are no longer recognized, I need to replace/temporarily fix.
I know it seems like I am falling apart but there is one thing in my life that seems to be going RIGHT!
7. My heart was broken, now is fixed.
Things seem to feel so different this time. I feel FREEdom and with that I have gained some wisdom. I have learned a lot about myself and about others. Continuously learning … growing … loving … forgiving …
I digress … ’tis late.
Liza Mae
Posted on 14 October 2008 by Liza Mae V.
This just came out the way it did and sorry if it is too hard to understand …
+++
The passion between us is so strong that it still resonates within me. I crumble with the thoughts of us together. It has been six days too long since we were in close proximity and the moment that he came close to me, I reached pure bliss. It was an euphoric moment. The thoughts of us makes my knees weak and stomach turn. I can not even describe this connection we share because there are not enough words to describe this feeling. I am still lost for words but the only words that seem to flow from my lips are “I love you” and those words are not even enough, so I try to show this love with my touch, my kisses, my smile. His eyes glow while I stare back at them and his eyes smile with his lips. I can barely type this because the passion is too much for my mind to catch up to it. I can not really describe it but all I know is that it makes my soul smile – it makes me happy inside and out.
Wearing her heart on her sleeve,
- Liza Mae
Posted on 06 May 2008 by Liza Mae V.
i have been going through an emotional roller coaster …
ups . . .. highs …. . & .
& & & …. . . .
. . . . downs . . . . lows
i am happy when i am with HIM … but sad when i see the pain i have ’caused in him.
HE pushes me away slightly … he tries to pull me close but i resist.
i know this is new and fear the unknown with HIM … but i know he will fight or die for me.
i should stop thinking too far ahead.
i am here sitting at my desk.
i need to awaken the happiness that resides in me
instead of thinking of the unhappiness that surrounds me.
dysfunctional mind.
- Liza Mae
Posted on 29 August 2005 by Liza Mae V.
Opening my eyes
I see you now
hoping to see you
in my tomorrows
and if only
my maybe’s
are certainties
I wouldn’t be
so careful about
these feelings
thought to be delusions
thought to be reality
thought’s not worth thinking about
because my thoughts
only rot this beauty
my taintedness
possessed from
past experiences
which shouldn’t be here
they should
be steered away from
before they become
problematic
because love should
be automatic.
-Liza Mae
Posted on 11 July 2005 by Liza Mae V.
I had to push this piece I wrote on July 7th, 2005 when I was in deep thought.
Questions were raised between the validity of our relations.
Is this love or infatuation?
Is this more than a creation of
my mental compensation
for the feeling of
loss or lack of sensation?
Now I’m contemplating my position
and its time to make a decision.
Is this real
or a realization
of my imagination?
I think of my past
and current expectations,
before I did not have all these limitations.
Maybe that’s what’s frustrating.
I’m moving to fast
when I’ve go to take it slow
I want it all now
When I have years
to grow old … with you,
Get to know you
and be able to hold you,
console in you,
to loser control with you.
Because I love you…
-Liza Mae
Posted on 02 July 2005 by Liza Mae V.
One harmless night, or it seems, until unexpected events stir emotions.
Lost in the moment
Lost in the music
Lost in each other
Where I stand on the sideline
Thinking nothin of it …
but was it something more than alcohol talking?
Or could it of been something more apparent than what I did see?
I wouldn’t really know but hear
the voices of those who I hold closest to me
and try to analyze what really happened.
I do not doubt people even though it seems I should
But here I am trying to believe both sides
with different perspectives on what had happened.
I believe her.
I believe him.
Both were at fault
For body language exchanged
caused a chain of reactions.
That I thought was nothing but fun.
Until someone turns logical
For now I will …
forgive him,
forgive her
But don’t let it happen again.
Because you are my lover
and you are my friend.
And if one is to cross me
I will walk away … without any hesitation.
I will leave this to rest.
-Liza Mae