Archive | December, 2003

Tags: ,

Can’t sleep … Too Hot in Here

Posted on 24 December 2003 by Liza Mae V.

I can’t seem to figure out why my sleeping habits are all fucked up … its like my internal clock is never going to be fixed … when I am alone … it feels as though there is no point of sleeping anymore. I dream a lot of bad things … which consisted of … things/people that annoyed me … instead of … this man of my dreams … which is lost in this cave of my mind which is preoccupied with … many thoughts … questions … which provoke me … to answer them … ASAP … or I can’t sleep … peacefully. I am so anal about things I can’t seem to figure out … its like … I have constipation … I just want to get it out … but before I do so … I have to work at it so I push and push … or take some Metumucil. Damn … all I need for Christmas is … another problem. I just don’t need another one … or else … I’m going to erupt from this volcano … and go loco. Oh well I’ll just live and learn … that’s basically all I can do.


Comments (3)

Tags: ,

Dating a Club Guy

Posted on 20 December 2003 by Liza Mae V.

I went to Pearl Lounge last night expecting to chill and have fun but the way my day was going I had a feeling it would not end a good one.

I saw Club Guy with another girl that I am assuming that he’s seeing, for the body language exchanged between them told me blatantly what was going on. I was not mad at the fact that he is seeing someone else, I’m upset about him hiding it from me. I don’t like to waste my time with some guy I am dating when he is seeing someone else. That is totally disrespect on my side and hers, unless if she knew about me. Is it that hard to tell me the truth?

Would you rather me see with my own eyes what you were hiding because if so that’s so fucked up. You are too coward to talk to me that you have to do it impersonally? Shows how much our communication was lacking. I don’t even know your last name, but how much can you expect from a Club Guy? You can’t expect much. That is my problem, I can’t expect something from someone whom I don’t even know or whom doesn’t know me. Obviously, the fact that he hid it from me shows how much he knew or cared about me. The thing is, I don’t think he was even trying to hide it from me. He did it right in front of me, fully knowing that I was going to that club. The funny thing is, I knew what was going on with him – his actions changed quickly once we had a conversation about what we were to each other. The answer that I gave him sort of lead him astray which I understand because he’s a typical guy with sex on his mind, thinking that sex is the main focus of a relationship – I was not really down with that. I didn’t say I wouldn’t but him mentioning it to me just ruined his game on me.

Don’t talk about it be about it. There is no compromising sex … it just happens. Damn, I knew more about his game then he did. He might as well ‘Signal da plane’ at me, because the signs were too revealing.

1. I leave a message on his phone and he returns them a few hours to a few days later.
2. He says he’ll call me back the SAME day when he never does.
3. We only went out to a club.

So why does he even keep me around? Am I just on the 2nd’s list, if ONE does not pull through … he’ll call me. I shouldn’t even stay friends with him for he only provides me with Momentary happiness, which is a superficial relationship. Is it even worth my time to put him in his place? I don’t know … maybe when/if he calls I’ll know exactly what to say … for now I am happy to say that I went, because I was confused about things he did … and I questioned them. Now that I have answered those questions … I am happy.

– Liza Mae

Comments (4)

Tags: , , ,

Smiles are Free … So Smile =)

Posted on 17 December 2003 by Liza Mae V.

Yet another day at work.

It was rather the same as working yesterday, same customers, same management, same atmosphere BUT a different mind state. For some reason I was in such a giddy (happy) mood. I smiled like someone gave me a piece of ass and I chewed it, swallowed and liked it. It was a rainy but sunny day in my eyes and even as I write this, I feel so happy. I haven’t had this kind of high since … hrmm … I last kissed someone I was passionate with, damn I am smiling back at that moment but there is nothing in the world I can do but … SMILE … because frowning will eventually lead to tears in my eyes which drowns the logical side of me. I just liked being in this mind state, it opens my eyes to things which I/we take for granted.


Today, I saw a girl with a disfigured face. She looked like she suffered from severe burns including her hands because she had no fingers. Sometimes we take looking ‘normal’ for granted and don’t appreciate the face we stare at each morning, there are always imperfections which we constantly bicker at and I look into this girls eyes and she just seemed so perfect with her imperfections. I smiled because that moment was beautiful because she was beautiful. There are a lot of things that we take for granted but one thing I realized today was I love making people smile. It made me feel good about myself because I know if I was in their shoes, that person whom smiled at me would of made a difference in my life. Just that simple gesture … will make me happy … and I this entry is dedicated to all those … understated people that put a smile on your face … even just for one instant.

– Liza Mae

Comments (0)

Tags: , ,


Posted on 13 December 2003 by Liza Mae V.

between time
has me
running around in
& squares.
Trying to shape
which have not yet
been transformed
into actions
leading to
which will determine
which route I should
stroll through.

While I try to decipher
this hidden message
you’ve been sending me
I wait anxiously
for you … to return to me.
I stopped analyzing
this separation
of lost time
words unheard
for I muted them
only wanting to listen
to your actions.

So I sit still
Waiting …
for actions
to come to play.

– Liza Mae

Comments (7)

Tags: , ,

Shared Space

Posted on 04 December 2003 by Liza Mae V.

It is interesting how you have impacted me in this brief period of my life …
I wonder how we crossed paths … and why I just didn’t keep going.
But now that we are face-to-face …
sharing this space …
I try to trace
the facets of your mental place …
which I am steadily walking through.
I am exploring what you have in store …
and some doors I just can’t get through …
because the barriers are far too deep …
too hard to unlock …
because you have this mental block …
that you are not aware of.
Your jaded secrecy is … slowly killing me.
I want to see all that I can …
Underneath this strong built man …
Holding his hand to freedom.
I want to look into your eyes …
and take off this disguise …
which was built from society
accepting the surreal being
I want to … please … appease …
your mind with my words … curves ..
Please take my hand …
For I want to show you …

Liza Mae

Comments (1)

Advertise Here

Photos from our Flickr stream

See all photos

iTunes, App Store, iBookstore, and Mac App Store
Advertise Here

About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.


Contact or Follow Liza Mae

e-mail. twitter. @lizamae facebook. Liza Mae
tumblr. LuxaVision


Twitter Feed

Add Liza Mae on your Networked Blogs