Archive | January, 2004

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Time to Get Away … On a Journey

Posted on 29 January 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I’m about to go to Montreal for the weekend. I haven’t been there before, but I heard it was beautiful. I have no idea what to expect. It is 6am and I am about to embark on a trip, once again, I am somewhat excited. I love traveling.


Hrmmm … I hate it when someone tells me that they will call me back … but don’t. I don’t count calling 2-3 days later, as a call back. SMH. Well I’m leaving here without saying goodbye to Stefan #2, but cry me a river … It’s the weekend and I am about to party! =)

Liza Mae

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Actions speak louder than words; So are words meaningless?

Posted on 19 January 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I’m so confused about where I want to be right now. I’m stuck in my own mentality, debating about things going on in my life which I have no control over but where it’s leading – I don’t know but it is my choice to either take this route with one person or walk this road alone, until I find myself in another relationship. Sometimes I hate starting over, getting to know the person, if they spark your interest, blah blah blar. I’m getting tired of this whole dating game bullshit and I sometimes wish that someone like a friend would just sweep me off my feet and I don’t have to go through that whole dating ideal because I already know him and most likely I know what makes him happy and vice versa.

Sometimes I want to believe that I am confused when I’m really not because it is much easier to think that way. Like I know what I should do but believe things will magically change to the way I want to be but realistically I’m just in denial – about my feelings, my thoughts, and his thoughts.

Actions speak louder than words but deciphering the message can be confusing when words are spoken of but not taken into action. It’s like he says something to me but I don’t see no reason to believe what is being said. This lack of communication is killing me slowly, I don’t know what to think or feel because I don’t know if what I am feeling is real or if it was just a phase I am going through … again … over and over … this never ending recyclable moment. It’s a blur right now.

I can’t wait until I can see again, maybe making it all clear.

– Liza Mae

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Relationship Synopsis of 2003

Posted on 14 January 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Another day has passed me by … without a guy by my side … and I am proud to say … how I learned a lot in my 2003 of solitude. It was tough at first … going through a 2 year relationship breakup … then falling in love with someone miles away … finding out the foundations weren’t enough to build a relationship … and sometimes distance gets in the way from where you want to be … so I learned to displace my feelings with the distance … to open myself up to others … and to let things occur without me interfering with the outcome. Sometimes I wanted to see things that weren’t there … because it made me feel better … but the short comings … made me see what was actually in front of me.

The way I handle things are quite different … and my mother has actually taught me some things which I took for granted. I am not chasing ‘men’ anymore … they are chasing me. I find that when I don’t force things … feelings … thoughts … everything falls into place. I was too busy building this man of mine … that it ended up with too much faults. So I got tired of running … and now … the man is coming to me … built perfectly … in a non-perfect way. It just puzzles me how … I put the wrong pieces together … because my eyes saw this image of a house on a hill with a picket fence … when in actuality … there was no house … or fence on a hill … but an empty beach … with white sand … built the way nature intended.

– Liza Mae

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F . U . C . K (A Bad Day)

Posted on 13 January 2004 by Liza Mae V.

My home PC is pissing me off again … but what’s new ='( … before I came on this … I was very much relaxed … now this bitch is dampening my spirits …

F . U . C . K (that’s all I got to say)

Well another day of school … and how boring it is.    I do not like a single lecture and I’ve been to four different ones. I have a feeling that this semester is going to be a loong one … and there is nothing I can do but … bitch and complain about it … *sigh*…. ughhh

F . U . C . K

I have only spoken to one person on the phone today … and that was Stefan #2. I feel so comfortable around him … (sigh) …

S . M . I . L . E

This month is pretty planned out ….
Friday … Getting my hair did =)
End of the month … I’ll be at an Industrial Engineering Conference in Montreal
The Blanks … well school and part-time work fill those holes … so basically I don’t have a life until May … or my life is just school.   I joined the gym in hopes that I will use the membership to actually work this flabby body of mine … It needs to be conditioned the way I want for this motorcycle show that I might be in for the summer … oh summer … anyways … its too cold to think of those warm thoughts … I just need to … find myself a warm body pillow … with a heartbeat. That’s all I want.

Anyways … I’m out.


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Words Left Unfinished | Poetry in the Making

Posted on 06 January 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Lately I’ve been writing but … it seems as though I am not focused. I start but I don’t finish but someone told me that sometimes … its better left unsaid. So with that being said … I am going to paste my ‘unfinished’ works … and you can let me know how you feel about it.


Another night of alcohol …
bright lights blinding me …
sound system closing my drum …
humming …
buzzing …
sounds …
in my hearing …
when its supposed to be silent …
instead its silently violent …
Messing up the equilibrium
in my realistic
I call my life.
So I bite my tongue
before my heart becomes
numbed with pain
…(to be continued)


I am trying to articulate my feelings through alphabets … that transform into words … merge to sentences … but can not be truly defined … for the feelings are too much for words to describe. So I am left with … words read between lines … which can not truly exist … only in the mindset of the reader’s digest. Absorbing all this percievable bullshit that has become … my strength and weakness.

UNFINISHED #3 (I tried to add to #2 but it didn’t flow the same so I decided that it was another poem)
Escaping reality when we touch base. I see the reflection of my future when I stare in your eyes … but I deny it because it feels like I am floating on cloud nine. Seems too good to be true … because you … in my eyes … is perfection … amongst the imperfections you may cease to have.


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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.


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