Archive | February, 2004

Protected: Can a Deaf Man Hear?

Posted on 29 February 2004 by Liza Mae V.

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life … what is it all worth?

Posted on 27 February 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I haven’t written in so long because my thoughts have been scattered like pieces of a puzzle. I’m trying to put it all together but it just doesn’t seem to fit. It is like I’m trying to answer the same questions, over and over … but there is always a different solution. I am nearing the age of 21, and I begin to wonder where I am going to be in a year.

The uncertainty scares me, but what is it that I fear?

Its ironic that I fear is living … not death. Death does not bother me. It is a part of life that we have to accept. But not being accepted is what I can not accept.

I am on this journey which has no real destination, no real solutions, and no real truth. Because everything that I strive for is too much in fantasy that I begin to wonder …

Will this all happen?

Is this what I really want?

Can this be acquired?

The future is in the hands of time. Everything can change with in seconds. One’s life can be taken … in one direction … to the next. So are these daily stresses, all worth it? I guess so. We do this, day in and day out.

I look at all the relationships I have and wonder, if this person will be with me in a few years? Why is this person here? Right now? and wonder who I will bump into next?

I’m just so tired. Tired of starting new, where there is no expectations of what this person will be in my life. The whole cycle of getting to know someone … just tires me out … knowing it can end up … where I started, no where. He/she just appeared, and then disappeared.

I ask too much questions which can not be answered now because that is in the future. That’s what I fear … the fear of not knowing what or who comes next … but that’s life … my life.

-Liza

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Casualty to Love

Posted on 15 February 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Feels like
I’m on an ultimate low …
like I’ve got no where to go
because I’ve been running for so long …
that I can’t go any more.

The walls trap me …
building this barrier.
which can only be broken
by my mental
agility
ability
to set myself free
from this fucked up reality.

I just don’t want to be
another casualty
to love …
for I’ve been shot a couple times
and the scars
remain to heal
revealing
the concealed feelings
of the past.

I try not to go back
but I’d get flashbacks
after flashbacks…
sweat dampened sheets
heart beats
exceeding
world records
as I awoke from my sleep.

Remnants of parts
still occupy space
right here
in my heart
with the thoughts of our
lips
hips
entangled
in each others touch
while making love
to the sound
of body waves
hitting the shore.

<3 Liza Mae
It’s getting late … zzz

Comments (3)

Personality Analysis

Posted on 12 February 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I am trying to release these feelings I have hidden beneath my skin but the pores aren’t opening. I try to write … type … this message … but for some reason … I can’t completely figure out why I’ve been stuttering … uttering … sentences … phrases … but it just doesn’t come out right. The feelings I have are … so mixed that I can’t seem to understand them … and I just stop midway with the thoughts of … you. I can’t seem to get through … this phase of confusion … delusion … because I am in love with you … or am I?

Free personality analysis from ColorQuiz.com.
Generated on Tue Feb 10 20:22:12 2004.

Your Existing Situation

Unable to exert the effort to achieve her objectives. Feels neglected, desiring greater security, warm affection, and fewer problems.

Your Stress Sources

An existing situation or relationship is unsatisfactory, but she feels unable to change it to bring about the sense of belonging which she needs. Unwilling to expose her vulnerability, she therefore continues to resist this state of affairs, but feels dependent on the attachment. This not only depresses her. but
makes her irritable and impatient, producing considerable restlessness and the urge to get away from the situation, either actually or, at least, mentally. Ability to concentrate may suffer.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Circumstances are such that she feels forced to compromise for the time being if she is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation. Becomes distressed when her needs or desires are misunderstood and feels that she has no one to turn to or rely on. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Your Desired Objective

Alert and keenly observant. Is seeking fresh avenues offering greater freedom and the chance to make the most of them. Wants to prove herself and to achieve recognition. Striving to bridge the gap which she feels separates her from others.

Your Actual Problem

Anxiety and restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled emotional requirements, have produced stress. She feels misunderstood, disoriented, and unsettled. This drives her into a search for new conditions or relationships, in the hope that these might offer greater
contentment and peace of mind.

Comments (2)

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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