Archive | April, 2004

Your dreams are within your reach

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Your dreams are within your reach

Posted on 28 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.

School is finally over … for now. I had my ups & downs … lack of motivation was a major factor … and some of my studying tactics worked … some didn’t. I am awaiting my marks … and hopefully I will see something good … but my confidence level in school is on an ultimate low … it seems like as every semester passes … my focus begins to steer off to various directions. As I always say after each semester … I’ll try for the next one. YAY that’s not happening, unless I have something to strive for. Hrmmm, now that I think about it, maybe deep down inside my fragile frame, there may lie something I strive for … that’s why I’ve made it this far. I just don’t know quite yet. Some people have told me what drives them to become ONE with school…


“I’m doing this for my family … the one I’m going to have in the future. I’m getting an education to feed my kids…” [in theory of course, because this person doesn’t even have kids] -anonymous


“I need to get my dream car … and when I don’t feel like going on … I stare at it … and think … I really want that” – Mel K.


“I want to get the highest MARKs in school … because I want to strive to be the best” – Anonymous


“I can make enough money to take care of my parents.” – Gavin

I struggle to find my drive … my inspiration. I know where I am but where am I going? Maybe engineering is not for me … but how did I make it this far? I’m sure its more than luck. I am comfortable with my life … no real complaints. I’ve got a bonded family that is rare these days, , friends to last a life time, home cooked meals, and…. and … what more do I need … a partner… which is composed of a lover/family/friend in one package. So is HE, this dream man in my mind, what keeps me on my feet when I get shot by a emotional glock? Maybe… just maybe.


The signs keep haunting me … that my dreams are within my reach.

-Liza

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I used to love him

Posted on 26 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.

[enters stage]
My head is hurting … sharp pains pierce my stomach … my temperature is high … stress levels seem to increase as every hour passes … I can’t seem to focus on what needs to be done … I just need to hug someone … but better yet … I need someone to hug me … boldly … fiercly … until all my problems run away like the tears that fall from my face …
[exits stage]

I always have HIM by my side and if I didn’t, I felt empty. HE helped me communicate to people on the other side of my life. HE was there to keep me on track of pills I had to take and HE was never late. HE is the most reliable except when HE gets tunnel vision and is located in a unknown territory. HE was there through my good times … and my bad. HE is the only one who listened to every word I had to say … and HE conveyed it to the other person … perfectly. HE knows when to keep quiet and when to speak up. HE is such a tease at times, because he stimulates my nerves with his vibrations … but I know how to handle my urges.

Lately though, HE has been getting on my nerves because the people HE associates with are annoying me, therefore we got in a fight. I am not speaking to HIM for awhile, because HE annoys me. I dropped HIM once and HE doesn’t get the message. It is like I am speaking and HE isn’t listening. UGHHHhhh … so I just get to the point in my conversations with HIM because its easier that way … Sometimes I just want to replace HIM but … its not that easy. My circumstances won’t let me. I just have too much love for HIM, my cell phone … =)

<3- Liza

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25 Q&A

Posted on 25 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.

INSTRUCTIONS: Answer these questions about me and then copy and paste these questions on your LJ page … so I can respond to them.

01. Who are you, what’s our relationship?:
02. How and where did we meet?
03. How long have you known me?:
04. Do you remember the first things i said to you?:
05. What is the best feature about me?:
06. What is the worst feature about me?:
07. How often do you think of me?:
08. Are we good friends?:
09. How well do you think you know me?:
10. When you first saw me what was your impression?:
11. Do you wish we were closer?:
12. Have we ever gotten in a fight and if so, about what?:
13. If we could spend a day together what would we do?:
14. If you could say one thing to me, what would it be?:
15. Have you ever had a crush on me?:
16. How would you describe me to someone?:
17. Do you think i’m happy?:
18. Have we kissed?:
19. Would you ever date me?:
20. Tell me one thing you’ve always wanted to say but never did:
21. Have you ever seen me cry, if so when?:
22. Have you ever seen me with my pants off?:
23. What would you change about me??:
24. Do you think you’ll know me in five years?:
25. Have you ever told me that you love me?:

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Love’s Breath

Posted on 23 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.

You are the breath I breathe …
and if you take this breath away from me …
I will die and be reborn … into a child.

Unbiased & care free from … this world around me … poisoned by envy, gluttony, and hate. War and destruction is how problems are faced,
but here I am surviving this life … that we learned to accept day to day.

Desensitized to death … but sensitive to the living, for I am a humanitarian … and the deceased are no longer human. They are lost souls … looking down on us as we struggle … to become one with them.

Every second we are living … we are dying.
Every second we are smiling … we are crying …
but every time we give/receive love … we are truly living.

Which brings me back to you …
The reason why I am here
because you give me this breath I breathe
You are the reason why I rise from my sleep
Fantasize in my dreams …
of what seems unrealistic …
and if you take this breath away from me
I will die …
again …
and eventually
rise from the dead … as a new being
Seeing everything clearer …
in a new light …
seeing past the darkness
and staring into the future … brightness
that consumes my visibility
and opens my heart & mind to new possibilities
for you …
you
& you
give me love … that I need
to breath.

PEACE!

– Liza Mae

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Protected: COLOR QUIZ

Posted on 20 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.

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Backyard Remnants | Grace & I

Backyard Remnants | Grace & I

Posted on 20 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Hrmmm … I’ve been trying to sit down … and study for this exam that I have on Wednesday … but my room is a death trap for this type of thing … I have too many distractions … too many things which make me work so slow … my drive to accomplish a good grade is about … 52% … I have no real passion for these books … which have been weighing me down …


bare

Today … I woke up with the morning sun in my eyes … watched the day go by … with fluctuating intensities of light cascading through my window … as I watched the wind blow the tree which bare … no leaves … but wore a lost plastic bag which got caught up in its branches. I wonder how’d it get there … and if it would ever escape …


inescapable thoughts

I sat in my backyard … listening to Andre 3000 … admiring the spring breeze … the newly growing tulips … the bird that sat upon the branches … the silence which helped me meditate onto another place … for that second … I felt at ease.


Grace & I

Remembering the days when I used to run around with my neighbor/best friend, Grace … around the neighborhood … trying to find a new adventure. As I gazed at the gates which separated our worlds apart … I remembered every moment we shared. Being chased by dogs … especially that damn chiuwawa … and going to the mini-park … turtle hill … biking everywhere … swimming daily till my fingers/toes become shriveled like raisins. Not caring about, anything … but watching Sailor Moon at 12pm … and imitating Salt’n’Pepa as they sang … it was a wonderful feeling .. then … I was stripped of my childhood … once a man came into the equation …

boys to men … after men … after men …

Priorities changed … attitudes changed … life changed. It was not about … the simple things … it was about … finding yourself within a man … relationships … all so complicated … but once I realized … that relationships aren’t that complicated … and I have to start with the basics … the simple things … to make me happy … I truly found my youth again.

I watched the sun go down … and the moon rise up … as time brushed me like the wind of yesterday … it came … it went … looking forward for tomorrow … to whisk me away …

<3 – Liza

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Reflections

Reflections

Posted on 16 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.


reflections
It feels like … I’m in an out of body experience … and I’m just watching over this girl … that has been through … little things … little things which make her … fragile … because she’s been broken once or twice before … but as time went by … someone … something was there to help her mend the pieces together … that one/thing is love … To love … to be loved … to be faltered by love … and to gain enough strength to love again … that’s the beauty of this whole thing … we call love … when we feel like we’ve been defeated by love … it’s what keeps us going … isn’t that ironic?


opposing reflections
[info]rivenagares

These couple of days have been … a brush of fresh air … hitting my face … like the soft kisses you left … on your way here … though my words were conveyed … to the ears that once listened … my words felt empty … for the substance was missing … I am missing …


kiss me

Comments (11)

Just say “I love you!”

Posted on 14 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.

..A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road..
Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me u love me.
Girl: Fine, I love u. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.

*Girl hugs him*

Guy: Can u take my helmet off & put it on? Its buggin me.

In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a
building because of break failure. 2 ppl were on it but only 1 survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn’t want 2 let the girl know. Instead, he.. had her say she loved him & felt her hug 1 last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die
..
Send this e-mail to everyone you love, the ones who know you
love them and the ones who don’t.. For you see, no one really knows what tommorow holds in store for you. You might not live to see the next day…And sometimes you have to tell someone something, but run out of time to do so…So take five minutes out of your time to tell someone you love them because you really never know if this is the last day of your life.

Liza: Hrmmm .. that was an interesting email that I just wanted to share. (sigh)

Comments (2)

Tags: ,

broken circle

Posted on 13 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I feel numb …
conversations exchanged
between two lost souls
has got me thinking
about my past
if things … were real?
or surreal?
If love was a perception
that was deluded …
into my vulnerable
little figure …
my weakness’ were exposed
and I wonder if …
these weaknesses were consoled
to build this kingdom of
surrealism …

moments so brief …
that they were perfect
and there was no room for mess.
In my mind
I drew this image
that I finally realized
that doesn’t exist.
And life is not what I deemed fit
so what can I do to do to change this?

Absolutely … nothing … but everything.
I can change what i can ..
and things i can’t … well
I’ll just have to accept it …

whether I was in love …
or was in love with the thoughts …
I don’t regret a single moment
just smile that I experienced
this feeling … of the unknown.

distance is not an obstacle
but the time in between
has me running
around in circles
trying to find the end
and i finally did.

here I am
the end of the circle.
wanting this feeling back
from another person
trying to break from
this numbness
that sometimes …
holds me together
but also breaks me apart
just wanting to start
a new journey
for this is
the end.

this is the end.

– Liza Mae

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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