Archive | May, 2004


On the road (freestyle)

Posted on 22 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Amidst my current circumstance
I take a quick glance
At the past and the present
and time flashes by like
the light of a camera
trying to give insight to
the intricacies of a familiar face
smiling back at me.

I smile back as I place
my finger against the shutter
and capture this moment of pure ex-stacy …
no one can take this
image away from me
for time is unerasable
like love …

Love can not be erased …
for it will still leave lead
marks in its place
for some day, someone
will shade over these … marks
and this love
will be revealed …
and can never be replaced.
But a new love can
reside … right next
to my heart.
Where the population
is filled with …
lovers from the past and present
and are always welcoming
new ventures to explore
my city … but there is only
room for 1 who will share this entirety
completely. and he is
still an unknown face
or maybe he already
is familiar to me, but
the signs aren’t that clear
to see because … blurry visions
all I see … and the
mix of reality and fantasy
are playing tricks
in which
I walk down this route
with near sightedness
not knowing … what’s next
but I progress … slowly …
seeing if its my exit.

-Liza (finished May 21st, 2004. 1:55pm)

Comments (3)


What is respect?

Posted on 19 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Lately (past 2 weeks) I’ve been dating and it seemed like the most ‘ideal’ single life I could imagine, until today. I have guys left to right, have something to do, somewhere to go, and was constantly moving. I partied every night except on Monday or Tuesday. Danced with random guys. Shook what my momma gave me. Drank myself to a blur. Now I just want to stop.

I have finally found my match but I am still running. I’m so used to being alone that being with someone scares me. The idea of falling and being broken … scares me. The uncertainty scares me. But getting into a relationship includes the possible outcome … and it scares me. But I have to learn to let go of my fears … for I can not live without knowing nor live with the ‘what if’s’ hanging over my head.

Though I have the title ‘single&dating’ hovering over me, I feel taken. My heart feels filled and no one else can fill it but HE. Yet I have questions … a lot of questions. I’m just too afraid to ask because the answers maybe alarming and my doubts will be reality … and this fantasy will be diminished … but he made me a promise … that being … he’ll respect me.

He’ll respect me.

But what does that mean? (sigh)


Comments (9)

Letting go … unfinished … now finished

Posted on 12 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Feels like
I’m on an ultimate low …
like I’ve got no where to go
because I’ve been running for so long …
that I can’t go any more.

The walls trap me …
building this barrier.
which can only be broken
by my mental
to set myself free
from this fucked up reality.

I just don’t want to be
another casualty
to love …
for I’ve been shot a couple times
and the scars
remain to heal
the concealed feelings
of the past.

I try not to go back
but I’d get flashbacks
after flashbacks…
sweat dampened sheets
heart beats
world records
as I awoke from my sleep.

Remnants of parts
still occupy space
right here
in my heart
with the thoughts of our
in each others touch
while making love
to the sound
of body waves
hitting the shore.

<3 – Liza


im feelin that right there..imma try to finish it.. i dont know if u finished it but imma give it a shot.. you paint a perfect picture with your poetry though..

as the waves
sway away
i lay in dismay
thiking of the day
we engaged
feeling encaged
no escape
mental state
love turned hate
thoughts not straight
long days nights late
cant concentrate
need to rehabilitate
from our passion
what happened
none could fathom
our patterns
mars and venus collided on a course to saturn
it was out of this world
more precious then pearls
one guy one girl
enough love to make emotions swirl
in the midst of the night
holding tight
to what was right
love in sight
but shifted within the motion
trial of devotion
our pasts were open
love was potent
but not as we were hopin
we took a chance and failed
the past came and prevailed
now all i ask is one more try
for no reply
im still here
while you think our love has died..

i tried…


Comments (2)

Fragments … of daily ventures …

Posted on 12 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

TODAY … or yesterday.

Finished reading a section of ‘Fast Food Nation’.
Put that Crest whitening paste thing on my teeth.
Face is clean.
Earphones inserted.
Grades are up and I am in CLEAR condition.
Stomach is growling.
Throat is itching. (cough cough)
Kicked ass in bowling … 161 (highest score in my life)

TOMORROW … or later today.

Answer highschool students questions about University.
Hang out with old/current friends.
See Ryan O.

Hrmmm … I’m stuck at the thought of seeing HIM. It feels like an eternity but its only been a week. Can’t wait to see HIM speak … with his lips … his eyes … his finger tips …

<3 – Liza Mae

Comments (0)


Posted on 11 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

All my life I’ve been running …
Running away from
my problems …
my fears …
my reality …
but today I had to stop …
walk back
and close the doors which I left open.

I feel relieved yet … saddened.
It’s like closing the doors on memories
both good and bad …
but the bad over took the good
therefore it was time to let go.

Let go of the past …
and feel for what is happening now …
I’ve held on too long to something
that was not going no where ..

For he was not looking for seriousness
… and now I know the reason why he could kiss me everywhere
but here … my lips …
and if we did … it felt tasteless

Maybe that’s the reason why he could not …
look at me … here … my eyes …
and if he did … because he wanted to see
the reflection of his eyes … for to him
that is the beauty he did see … the pain
which he inflicted when he literally crushed me …

But here I stand … in the middle of my wasteland
holding this bag in my hands …
torn and dirty …
I watch the bag fall …
amongst the others that lay there …
I stop.
Gaze …
and turn around and walk away.

– Liza Mae

Comments (3)

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First Date

Posted on 06 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I can still … taste your lips … every time I press them against each other … soft and smooth … like a babies bottom … mmmm

I close my eyes and I feel you …
I close my eyes and I see you …
I close my eyes and I see me in you …

damn … I didn’t think I can feel this feeling again … and you showed me that my beliefs are false … and that I can finally let go … I can be free from my past that shackled me … emotionally … for a long period of time … I can finally be … this woman I grown up to be … potentially being more than … what I thought could be …

Though the future is not destined … and since you are my present … sent from heaven … I enjoy this moment … for it may be the first or last … I will accept you and this moment for it is all I have … right now … and I’m loving every moment of it … cuz you helped me see again … thank you!

Comments (0)

So much to do … so little time

Posted on 01 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I can start on those things I put aside due to school, but I have drowned myself with so much things to do that it seems like I’m really drowning … but in my mess of scattered books and clothes. So now I have to figure out my ‘to do’ list and prioritize what needs to be done first …

-Clean out my closet/room
-Redesign my room & bathroom for storage
-Design website
-Update website
-Find a Job
-Get to NYC somehow
-Learn liquid layouts
-Deposit Cheques

Month of May Schedule:

5 – Road Test
5 – Dad’s Birthday
24 – Victoria Day
25 – My Birthday
27 – Marta’s Birthday

Well this is all I know so far but I still need to go to work today because I need to make some dough … sighhhh … I need a job but I don’t want something that will be so restricted … like a 9-5. I need a job in which I can work freely … =\ … Its time for that shower …

– Liza Mae

Comments (0)

Open My Eyes

Posted on 01 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I feel as though my life has ended and now I begun a new path. School is over and its time for Spring/Summer, four months of non school related learning. Even though I complain and bitch about how much school sucks, I find myself wanting to learn more. But this is a different type of learning … its life. I want to find me within the chaos that surrounds me. I want to know what it is that I truly need … not want. I want to look back and be fond of the memories/mistakes I have made, yet I don’t want it to weigh me down like water when one is drowning. I just want to see everything in front of me … not behind me. I want to let go of my sorrows … and be happy for my tomorrows will bring me … here … there … everywhere … but somewhere in sight. For I have seen a new light … so bright that I just I want to squint my eyes … damn its 5am and the moon keeps watching me … and orions belt is its company … but they give me … eyes malfunctioning … minds jumping to that merry place … time to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Comments (0)

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.


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