Archive | April, 2005

Summer Crisis

Posted on 27 April 2005 by Liza Mae V.

I feel like I need to accomplish something but I can’t figure out what it is.  I’ve been moping around the house thinking of things that I want to do this summer and I started off by revamping my LJ design which reflects my current attitude … warm, lively, & refreshing.  Initially I wanted to revamp my website but that would take more than a few hours plus my creativity is not here with me right now … he’s on vacation.  So … now what?  Maybe if I list the things I need to do I will have something to work towards.

  • Make a resume for a summer J.O.B.
  • Clean out the closet then donate it to Goodwill.
  • Clean the room & put some new photos up.
  • Re-design the lizamae.com website.
  • Join some sortof active sport/hobbie.

When you end a chapter in your life, a new one starts which leads to a whole new set of issues.  Everytime I end school and summer starts my whole life shifts to this totally different perspective where priorities change and life becomes this soap opera.  For the past 2 years I had no serious ties so I just went club after club, meeting guy after guy, and it fulfilled me momentarily but they did not appease my physical/mental/emotional appetite.  There was always something missing … not that I’m searching for perfection but the chemistry was not there.  Sometimes I felt like it was perfect but the next day later I’d think otherwise.  This inconsistancy caused me to be unstable with myself & them.  I did not know if I should trust my feelings because it lead me into the wrong arms before … so what’s so different now?  I know myself alot better and I am still learning … and this time I have truly let myself go.  I am with Mr. Perfect-Imperfect and I salivate with the thoughts of him but you never know where this road will lead because … shit happens.  I am fully aware of my consequences but it’s all worth it.

 *sigh* of relief.

I still haven’t figure out what I have to do … I don’t really feel like doing anything.  I feel so lazy. 

-Liza Mae

Comments (6)

Tags:

School’s Out … Summer’s In!

Posted on 26 April 2005 by Liza Mae V.

So exams are over and its the beginning of summer 2005.  =)  I celebrated with my buddies from school by going to Spring Rolls for dinner then heading to the mall where we would buy liquour and ask for McDonalds cups to put them in. lol.  It was a very funny moment but cherishable.  After that we headed to a bar called ‘Hey Lucy’ and then went to Mink.  Suprisingly people were partying on a Monday night.  I’ve never experienced the night life on a monday in Toronto.  It was actually fun … I got to see a WWF wrestler … which I am curious to look up but have no idea where to start.  He is tall & has long brown hair … longer than mine.  He is massive.  Can you tell I’m not really good with descriptions?!?  Well it is 4am now and I am so tired … I can sleep in.  YAHOO!!

On the other note, I still have summer school but 2x a week won’t kill me for 2 months.  I am so psyched because now we have more time to hang out without putting school before him.  It restricted me from doing a lot of things with him and at first it was a struggle.  He is used to the work system and I am still in the school system, so that made us conflict views in which we eventually worked around because priorities had to be met.  He adjusted quite quickly and I appreciate his efforts to understand.  Thanks hun. 

Ahhhhh … I can breath again.  I can’t believe that there is 1 more year left and I have to get in to the working system.  Scary thought …

Well I miss him … he’s at Niagara falls for business.  Now I am starting to understand why he is so sad about me leaving for 2.5 weeks.  I can’t even survive without him for a day and I can’t imagine him gone for 2.5 weeks.  *sigh*  I wish I never planned my trip to be so long …That also means … no sex for 2.5 weeks.  =\  I’m going to self implode … “Think happy thoughts” … lol .. K I am getting delusional … goin to bed …

-Liza Mae

Comments (4)

Tags:

Movie Night: Stepfather

Posted on 24 April 2005 by Liza Mae V.

Saturday…

It was a very gloomy day but it did not stop me from enjoying the day, the only thing I regret was that I was not productive with the school work therefore I’m paying for it now.  Anyways, in the morning Jeff came to my house and we headed to my favorite local Japanese restaurant.  We exchanged thoughts about everything/everyone around and what has progressed within the weeks/months in our lives that we did not share prior. 

I noticed that I became distanced from those who I subconsciously think are a threat to OUR relationship.  I am usually outspoken about my relationship(s) when I am going through problems.  Now that I barely have problems … I do not speak as much, and even when I am going through problems I usually solve them with him so there is no need to run to someone else.  I sometimes vent to selected friends but it is usually to hear myself think.  They usually give advice in which I already thought of but they reaffirm me because they think like me in most ways.  I realize that I was selfish before G because all the relationships prior to him I vented to anyone who was around.  I shouldn’t of done so because sometimes I didn’t listen nor agree to what they had to say thus those whom I did listen to are those selected few friends that I tell my problems to.  I realized that some people I interact with I just butt-heads with so, why bother?  So I am sorry for burdening those with my problems when I did not listen. 

So as we sat at the restaurant, I listened to him speak instead of burden him with the little problems that I had.  It was very relaxing and refreshing whenever he’s around.  We eventually went back to my house and watched movies all day … Taxi & The Notebook.  I both recommend them.  Taxi is one of those corny but funny movies.  I loved the scene when they were on laughing gas…hilarious.  The Notebook is a romantic movie aka chick flick with a sad ending but I really liked the acting.  So go rent/download them.  =)

Later that night I hooked up with G, Roxanne, *& Mike W.  We watched Stepfather(1987), scary movie, and the acting was crazy.  It wasn’t that scary because G & Mike were making us laugh the whole time.  It would of been scary as hell if they kept quiet, but overall a great old school scary movie.  His (stepfather) acting was great because he really freaked me out.  If you like scary movies I recommend this movie.  Oh yah did I mention the background music, its the greatest. lol.

Well it was a very chill night … Just say I am sore now. 

1 more exam tomorrow.  =P

-Liza Mae

Comments (2)

Tags:

Non-stop exams

Posted on 19 April 2005 by Liza Mae V.

I should be sleeping … but I am not.
Came home at 1am … leaving here by 6am by the dot
8am exam lasting for 3h non-stop.

I’ll be home soon … sleep and wake up.
To do it all over again …

-Liza

Comments (6)

Second Date feeling

Posted on 17 April 2005 by Liza Mae V.

Yesterday while I was waiting for him to pick me up I was feeling nervous like a second date.  I say second date because the 1st date you don’t really know what to expect but the 2nd date is the continuous of the spectacular 1st date.  So for some reason I had butterflies in my stomach and was so anxious to see him.  I don’t know why but that is how I felt.

Before I reached the car, I saw him eyeing me from the distance.  I was laughing to myself because the expression on his face was priceless.  I was wearing my white trench coat with white boots and underneath it all I was wearing a jean skirt and brown top.

Visuals

Comments (12)

Tags:

Kelly Clarkson – Beautiful Disaster

Posted on 15 April 2005 by Liza Mae V.

Beautiful Disaster


He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
It just ain’t right

Oh when I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He’s such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I’m longing for love and the logical
But he’s only happy hysterical
I’m waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
I’ve waited so long

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he’s more than I can take
But when I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

Comments (0)

Tags: ,

Exam tension

Posted on 14 April 2005 by Liza Mae V.

It is 7am and I can’t seem to push this anxiety aside but the harder I try I get more aggrevated.  He said everything will be alright, tomorrow …  that I am just being naive and I want to believe him but I am stuck in this rut until 2:30pm when it is all over.  It doesn’t seem too far but why does it feel like eternity?  I need to relax before I errupt but I need methods of how to … get rid of this tension.  Maybe a shower will do.

-Liza

Comments (0)

Tags:

My life for the next 2 weeks

Posted on 13 April 2005 by Liza Mae V.

Sleep.Eat.Study.
Sleep.Eat.Study.
Sleep.Eat.Study.
Sleep.Eat.Study.
Sleep.Eat.Study.
[Repeat]

-Liza

Comments (4)

Barriers Broken

Posted on 10 April 2005 by Liza Mae V.

I have made it past the guards after months of mental planning and patience.  All deserves victory after reaching this point for these walls were built like Troy that the tactics weren’t to attack and destroy but to ploy my way through these walls.  For it was obvious that he was never to forget her, the pain that caused him to be … broken.  So the only way through was to be true to him and myself.  Giving enough space for both of us to breath for I am one to rush into things because it feels right, but the feeling isn’t always right.  It only feels right because we want  it to be right, we want it to work out, but it doesn’t always work out the way we want to.  So I am just going to let it be, the way it supposed to be … which is variable to him or me, but I am not going to try to mold it into my masterpiece but ‘ours’ because I am not one to determine where we should go or if I should follow … but I am one to keep up when I am becoming tired, and be able to slow down when I am going to fast.  So we will always be on the same pace with a few minor disputes but no relationship is without the head/heartache…to be continued.

I am mad tired/exhausted/sleepy …

-Liza

Comments (4)

Advertise Here

Photos from our Flickr stream

See all photos

iTunes, App Store, iBookstore, and Mac App Store
Advertise Here

About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

Tumblr

    http://luxavision.tumblr.com/post/132532828326http://luxavision.tumblr.com/post/132479433271http://luxavision.tumblr.com/post/132470644251http://luxavision.tumblr.com/post/132411526966http://luxavision.tumblr.com/post/130743725886http://luxavision.tumblr.com/post/130555679846http://luxavision.tumblr.com/post/130262865696http://luxavision.tumblr.com/post/130130637816

Contact or Follow Liza Mae

e-mail. Liza@lizamae.com twitter. @lizamae facebook. Liza Mae
tumblr. LuxaVision

RELATED SITES

Twitter Feed

Add Liza Mae on your Networked Blogs