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Archive | April, 2008

Tags: , , ,

s e p e r a t i on

Posted on 28 April 2008 by Liza Mae V.

i        a  m            h   e   r  e.

y

o

u

a
r
e

t  h  e  r  e   .

Lost between the spaces of time …
going back and forth in my mind.

yet I should be living here.  i am here.

STOP reliving the pain … i tell myself over and over.
STOP seeing the tears fall from your face …
the disappointment and sadness … in your eyes.

I can’t forget, but I can not go back to it …
I need to STOP feeling this guilt that I feel.
I am here.
. not there.

i am where i need to be …

– Liza Mae

Comments (3)

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Breaking it Down … Day 4 of Seperation

Posted on 25 April 2008 by Liza Mae V.

Everytime I think of him my heart breaks all over again …

This time apart is a good one.  It makes me see the situations from the outside in.  It makes me forgot about all the anger I had inside and really just get down to the facts.  Emotions get in the way of reality and makes us make poor choices.  Positivity is what I need.  For example, it is better to question, “Can I live with him?” rather than asking, “Can I live without him?”  The second question is a selfish one because it brings out other negative feelings of, “I can’t be alone”, “Can I picture him with someone else?”, and it really doesn’t question the validity of the relationship.  For the first question “Can I live with him”, it questions the relationship with the person, “Are WE really compatible?”

Hrmmm … that brings me to an even better question – “Can we live with each other?”

In the relationship, I can place the blame on him but really I have to take a really close look at myself and why I let these issues happen.  Yes he has his insecurities but why did I let his insecurities change the way I am?  I adjusted to him and in the end, I lost a part of me.  I realize now that this isn’t healthy in a relationship.  There is nothing wrong with adjusting to the person you are with but when you lose yourself in the process and have that built-up resentment … it definitely is not healthy.  This was my mistake.  I changed for the wrong reasons.

I didn’t realize this but people around me did.  They saw the changes in me that they did not admire but they did not speak about till now.  Maybe due to the fear that I would shun them out – but true friends tell you what you do not want to hear but need to hear it.

– Liza Mae V.

Comments (0)

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Tug-of-War

Posted on 22 April 2008 by Liza Mae V.

push
pull
push
pull

breath deeply
break free
be happy
be.

I am in a state of mind that is juggling thoughts back and forth and external forces are swaying me to make a choice between my emotions. I am … lost …. struggling … trying to find my way home. Once upon a time I was focused – now far from that. I am standing at a crossroads, which road to follow? There is no right or wrong – just stuck in this grey area. My thoughts put me in this demise, wishing I was care-free. So I was put into a situation where I had to make a choice – that is to really look deep down inside myself and ask the question, “What will bring me to this point of happiness?” I do not know the answer to that question because that is what I am searching for. I’m trying to find the answers to my misunderstandings. Once I find myself again, I will know what it is that Liza really needed. If it is with you or without you … I will not know till that time of enlightenment. Time heals wounds. Time is what I need. Time is what you need. For now …

I love.

I will.

I am.

– Liza Mae

Comments (0)

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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