Tag Archive | "Dating"

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25 Things you should NOT do on a First Date

Posted on 18 July 2011 by Liza Mae V.

The guy you’ve been eyeing on for months has finally done the unthinkable and asks you out on a date, so hours before you get nerves, but you shouldn’t forgot some common things you should NOT do on a first date.  Lately I’ve been around single friends who are dating I find their dating stories merely amusing and shocking at times for some things that are common sense when dating are not so common.  I have reached out to my followers through Twitter and Facebook about things men or women should not do on a date and found some common perspectives about things you should not do on a date.

25 Things you should NOT do on a First date

Please note that this list is not in any order and stories are based on true experiences of my followers.

  1. Do NOT use your phone to text, BBM, or call someone else.  This is the most common advice everyone has suggested.  No one wants to be ignored and you are on a date to get to know someone, how can one do that if you are fidgeting with your phone.
  2. Do NOT overly talk about yourself.  Ask questions and have a two-way conversation for no one want’s a self-centered person.
  3. Do NOT ask too many personal questions.  This is not a job interview so don’t ask about your date’s fears and expectations.  Keep a light-hearted conversation where you can shake off the nerves and get comfortable with each other.
  4. Do NOT go to an overly posh place, that just comes off as you trying to show off. So find a place with a fine medium.
  5. Do NOT get drunk (Max. 2 drinks).  You might need to pay attention to any small valuable details he or she might quiz you on later. For example, she likes Daisies and tulips but not roses.  Also, no one wants to be your babysitter on a date.
  6. Do NOT flirt with another person. Do not check out another girls boobs or ass, this is just disrespectful.
  7. Do NOT be late.  I am not the best advocate of being on time but you shouldn’t be too late for no one likes waiting.
  8. Do NOT order your date’s food. Unless they tell you  to order for them, you don’t know them enough to order for them, plus they may have some allergies you may not know about.
  9. Do NOT expect your date to pay for you.  If they offer to do so then great but be prepared to dish out some cash.
  10. Do NOT lie.  Be yourself and if the person doesn’t like you for who you are then they are not the person for you.
  11. Do NOT talk about the Ex.  You do not want your date to picture you having sex with someone else or dump your baggage on that person, so please leave this conversation when you are more comfortable with each other.
  12. Do NOT take the skeletons out the closet.  This means it is okay to leave out conversations about your past health issues, drug addictions, alcoholism, or black out moments.  It is okay to talk about this later on but for now, leave it out the conversation.
  13. Do NOT insinuate sex.  I am a pretty open person but for the most part if you want something serious you shouldn’t talk about this until a couple of dates in.  It is kind of creepy and you don’t want to signal that this is all you want unless that is all you want.
  14. Do NOT forget your table manners.  Do not pick at your teeth for food, burp, chew with your mouth open, or pick at your dates food without getting permission.
  15. Do NOT go to the movies.  It is hard to get to know someone at the movies for you can not really talk at the movies, so find somewhere you can communicate.
  16. Do NOT talk about marriage.  I was watching Millionaire Matchmaker and the guy immediately proposed to the girl on the first date which is rather appalling, who does that?  You can talk about marriage and that you want to get married in the the future but do not propose on the first date.
  17. Do NOT be a flake.  If you planned to meeting this person, please keep your commitments.  It is hard enough asking someone out on a date wether it is online or inperson, so please do not stand up your date.
  18. Do NOT be a gold digger.  So refrain from asking for a Gucci watch on a date or a trip to Spain.  This person could be your future wife or husband, not your bank account.
  19. Do NOT talk about money.  Wether you are in financial debt or financial set, this is a private matter.  This will cause the person to judge you in a certain way and you want judgements to be left out of the date, especially when it comes to money.
  20. Do NOT criticize your date.  This is negative energy which no one wants to be around, so stay positive and compliment your date, no matter how much you hate the tie he is wearing.  After all, no one likes to be critiqued.
  21. Do NOT talk about religion.   This can lead to heated discussion, so it is fine to talk about what basic religion beliefs but going in too deep about it can ruin the date.  Everyone has their own perspective about it and it can be a touchy subject, so keep it simple.
  22. Do NOT talk about politics.  Similar to religion.
  23. Do NOT talk about your kids.  It is fine to mention you have kids but do not talk in too much detail about them for there is an obvious past involved with your kids.  See #10.
  24. Do NOT be rude to your server.  This is a real turn off for actions speak louder than words.  You had a great date but the signals you give out when you treat your server poorly shows that you are a jerk.
  25. Do NOT be disgusting. So don’t pick your nose or wedgie, talk about bowel movements, blow your nose at the dinner table, or do any Jack Ass movie remakes.  This is just gross and uncomfortable.
First dates are uncomfortable and awkward, so don’t take it too seriously if it doesn’t work out.  I hope you enjoyed the 25 things you should NOT do on a first date.  Have any more advice?  Leave a comment.

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On the road (freestyle)

Posted on 22 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Amidst my current circumstance
I take a quick glance
At the past and the present
and time flashes by like
the light of a camera
trying to give insight to
the intricacies of a familiar face
smiling back at me.

I smile back as I place
my finger against the shutter
and capture this moment of pure ex-stacy …
no one can take this
image away from me
for time is unerasable
like love …

Love can not be erased …
for it will still leave lead
marks in its place
for some day, someone
will shade over these … marks
and this love
will be revealed …
and can never be replaced.
But a new love can
reside … right next
to my heart.
Where the population
is filled with …
lovers from the past and present
and are always welcoming
new ventures to explore
my city … but there is only
room for 1 who will share this entirety
completely. and he is
still an unknown face
or maybe he already
is familiar to me, but
the signs aren’t that clear
to see because … blurry visions
all I see … and the
mix of reality and fantasy
are playing tricks
in which
I walk down this route
with near sightedness
not knowing … what’s next
but I progress … slowly …
seeing if its my exit.

-Liza (finished May 21st, 2004. 1:55pm)

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What is respect?

Posted on 19 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Lately (past 2 weeks) I’ve been dating and it seemed like the most ‘ideal’ single life I could imagine, until today. I have guys left to right, have something to do, somewhere to go, and was constantly moving. I partied every night except on Monday or Tuesday. Danced with random guys. Shook what my momma gave me. Drank myself to a blur. Now I just want to stop.

I have finally found my match but I am still running. I’m so used to being alone that being with someone scares me. The idea of falling and being broken … scares me. The uncertainty scares me. But getting into a relationship includes the possible outcome … and it scares me. But I have to learn to let go of my fears … for I can not live without knowing nor live with the ‘what if’s’ hanging over my head.

Though I have the title ‘single&dating’ hovering over me, I feel taken. My heart feels filled and no one else can fill it but HE. Yet I have questions … a lot of questions. I’m just too afraid to ask because the answers maybe alarming and my doubts will be reality … and this fantasy will be diminished … but he made me a promise … that being … he’ll respect me.

He’ll respect me.

But what does that mean? (sigh)


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First Date

Posted on 06 May 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I can still … taste your lips … every time I press them against each other … soft and smooth … like a babies bottom … mmmm

I close my eyes and I feel you …
I close my eyes and I see you …
I close my eyes and I see me in you …

damn … I didn’t think I can feel this feeling again … and you showed me that my beliefs are false … and that I can finally let go … I can be free from my past that shackled me … emotionally … for a long period of time … I can finally be … this woman I grown up to be … potentially being more than … what I thought could be …

Though the future is not destined … and since you are my present … sent from heaven … I enjoy this moment … for it may be the first or last … I will accept you and this moment for it is all I have … right now … and I’m loving every moment of it … cuz you helped me see again … thank you!

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Love Lessons Learned

Posted on 05 March 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I just came home from seeing Stefan #2. and I have finalized my decisions about this somewhat ‘relationship’ … if that’s what you call it. It’s funny how things work out. No words were needed to be exchanged … because all I did was listen and the answers to my ‘what if’s were answered. The animosity and fury that I wanted to scream out loud weren’t necessary because it wasn’t worth my breath and stress. It simple wasn’t worth it.

I’ve been screaming for so long but its like trying to get through to a deaf man, YOU JUST CAN’T.  So I am left standing, listening to the echoes of my cries … replaying it in my mind … like a broken record … but I’ve muted them because I just didn’t want to hear it. But now that I do I have learned my lesson which consists of more than one thing.

Hrmmm … where do I begin. I don’t want to sound negative … so let me start with positives

1. Communication – I’ve learned how important it is to communicate … because not everyone can read your mind … and things that you think the other person should understands … think again. It’s surprising how often things were misconstrued in the message.

2. Reliability – Being able to rely on each other is important … because when you start to fall … the other should be right there to keep you standing. This also ties into trust. If you tell me something … I am going to believe you … so if I find that your actions don’t speak behind your words … then FUCK YOU.

3. Goals – What is it that you want from interacting with me? Knowing what you want is such a turn-on. Its ok not to know where it is going … but as long as you know where you want it to go … then its all good.

4. Ego & Pride – If you truly love someone … this does not exist in the relationship … its something that is put aside for this person. If you acquire this … it can cause problems, and what is all this ego worth? I think it just makes people jerks … and hold back from what they truly feel. Just let go …

5. Gift of Giving – I don’t believe in Give’n’take. I think if you give something to someone … you shouldn’t expect anything back for … if you do … then you are doing a selfish act … in that you are only giving to get back. If you are willing to give … give it your all … or its not worth it.

-Liza Mae

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Actions speak louder than words; So are words meaningless?

Posted on 19 January 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I’m so confused about where I want to be right now. I’m stuck in my own mentality, debating about things going on in my life which I have no control over but where it’s leading – I don’t know but it is my choice to either take this route with one person or walk this road alone, until I find myself in another relationship. Sometimes I hate starting over, getting to know the person, if they spark your interest, blah blah blar. I’m getting tired of this whole dating game bullshit and I sometimes wish that someone like a friend would just sweep me off my feet and I don’t have to go through that whole dating ideal because I already know him and most likely I know what makes him happy and vice versa.

Sometimes I want to believe that I am confused when I’m really not because it is much easier to think that way. Like I know what I should do but believe things will magically change to the way I want to be but realistically I’m just in denial – about my feelings, my thoughts, and his thoughts.

Actions speak louder than words but deciphering the message can be confusing when words are spoken of but not taken into action. It’s like he says something to me but I don’t see no reason to believe what is being said. This lack of communication is killing me slowly, I don’t know what to think or feel because I don’t know if what I am feeling is real or if it was just a phase I am going through … again … over and over … this never ending recyclable moment. It’s a blur right now.

I can’t wait until I can see again, maybe making it all clear.

– Liza Mae

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Relationship Synopsis of 2003

Posted on 14 January 2004 by Liza Mae V.

Another day has passed me by … without a guy by my side … and I am proud to say … how I learned a lot in my 2003 of solitude. It was tough at first … going through a 2 year relationship breakup … then falling in love with someone miles away … finding out the foundations weren’t enough to build a relationship … and sometimes distance gets in the way from where you want to be … so I learned to displace my feelings with the distance … to open myself up to others … and to let things occur without me interfering with the outcome. Sometimes I wanted to see things that weren’t there … because it made me feel better … but the short comings … made me see what was actually in front of me.

The way I handle things are quite different … and my mother has actually taught me some things which I took for granted. I am not chasing ‘men’ anymore … they are chasing me. I find that when I don’t force things … feelings … thoughts … everything falls into place. I was too busy building this man of mine … that it ended up with too much faults. So I got tired of running … and now … the man is coming to me … built perfectly … in a non-perfect way. It just puzzles me how … I put the wrong pieces together … because my eyes saw this image of a house on a hill with a picket fence … when in actuality … there was no house … or fence on a hill … but an empty beach … with white sand … built the way nature intended.

– Liza Mae

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Dating a Club Guy

Posted on 20 December 2003 by Liza Mae V.

I went to Pearl Lounge last night expecting to chill and have fun but the way my day was going I had a feeling it would not end a good one.

I saw Club Guy with another girl that I am assuming that he’s seeing, for the body language exchanged between them told me blatantly what was going on. I was not mad at the fact that he is seeing someone else, I’m upset about him hiding it from me. I don’t like to waste my time with some guy I am dating when he is seeing someone else. That is totally disrespect on my side and hers, unless if she knew about me. Is it that hard to tell me the truth?

Would you rather me see with my own eyes what you were hiding because if so that’s so fucked up. You are too coward to talk to me that you have to do it impersonally? Shows how much our communication was lacking. I don’t even know your last name, but how much can you expect from a Club Guy? You can’t expect much. That is my problem, I can’t expect something from someone whom I don’t even know or whom doesn’t know me. Obviously, the fact that he hid it from me shows how much he knew or cared about me. The thing is, I don’t think he was even trying to hide it from me. He did it right in front of me, fully knowing that I was going to that club. The funny thing is, I knew what was going on with him – his actions changed quickly once we had a conversation about what we were to each other. The answer that I gave him sort of lead him astray which I understand because he’s a typical guy with sex on his mind, thinking that sex is the main focus of a relationship – I was not really down with that. I didn’t say I wouldn’t but him mentioning it to me just ruined his game on me.

Don’t talk about it be about it. There is no compromising sex … it just happens. Damn, I knew more about his game then he did. He might as well ‘Signal da plane’ at me, because the signs were too revealing.

1. I leave a message on his phone and he returns them a few hours to a few days later.
2. He says he’ll call me back the SAME day when he never does.
3. We only went out to a club.

So why does he even keep me around? Am I just on the 2nd’s list, if ONE does not pull through … he’ll call me. I shouldn’t even stay friends with him for he only provides me with Momentary happiness, which is a superficial relationship. Is it even worth my time to put him in his place? I don’t know … maybe when/if he calls I’ll know exactly what to say … for now I am happy to say that I went, because I was confused about things he did … and I questioned them. Now that I have answered those questions … I am happy.

– Liza Mae

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.



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