Tag Archive | "fear"

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Defining Moments of Clarity

Posted on 03 June 2010 by Liza Mae V.

As I try to come up with the words to describe what I am feeling or thinking I stumble for I can only explain so much. I have been going through extremes in the last few weeks and at one point I thought I was going to lose my mind with anxiety then something calmed me to the point of sleep. As I tried different things to take away the anxiety like yoga stretches, laying in bed listening to soft music on my iPod, nothing seemed to work. Then I saw the little red book, the Bible, at the edge of my eye and I picked it up. It was like the answer to all my questions at that defining moment. I read a part that really struck a cord in me which calmed me to the point I relaxed then went to bed peacefully. Excerpts from Philippians 4:

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

10I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

After that defining moment I realized anxiety is due to my fear of the unknown and I have always tried to pave the path before walking but now I am walking on rocky roads barefooted.

I have narrowed the gap of my extremes and have been more in the middle, also known as being content. When I realized that I need to stop controlling things I became more aware. Now everything that I saw in black and white has turned into vibrant colours. I have gained an awareness that I have never felt before. Matthiew 6:

22“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

– Liza Mae

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Protected: Just do it!

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Protected: Just do it!

Posted on 29 July 2008 by Liza Mae V.

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life … what is it all worth?

Posted on 27 February 2004 by Liza Mae V.

I haven’t written in so long because my thoughts have been scattered like pieces of a puzzle. I’m trying to put it all together but it just doesn’t seem to fit. It is like I’m trying to answer the same questions, over and over … but there is always a different solution. I am nearing the age of 21, and I begin to wonder where I am going to be in a year.

The uncertainty scares me, but what is it that I fear?

Its ironic that I fear is living … not death. Death does not bother me. It is a part of life that we have to accept. But not being accepted is what I can not accept.

I am on this journey which has no real destination, no real solutions, and no real truth. Because everything that I strive for is too much in fantasy that I begin to wonder …

Will this all happen?

Is this what I really want?

Can this be acquired?

The future is in the hands of time. Everything can change with in seconds. One’s life can be taken … in one direction … to the next. So are these daily stresses, all worth it? I guess so. We do this, day in and day out.

I look at all the relationships I have and wonder, if this person will be with me in a few years? Why is this person here? Right now? and wonder who I will bump into next?

I’m just so tired. Tired of starting new, where there is no expectations of what this person will be in my life. The whole cycle of getting to know someone … just tires me out … knowing it can end up … where I started, no where. He/she just appeared, and then disappeared.

I ask too much questions which can not be answered now because that is in the future. That’s what I fear … the fear of not knowing what or who comes next … but that’s life … my life.

-Liza

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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