These words by Holstee Manifesto are what I live by and stand up for, though some days are challenging, never stop trying to live the life you want to live.
Lately life has been a big blur of heart felt moments both good and bad and I never felt so alive but lost at the same time. It seems I go through this cycle that goes from knowing who I am and what I am doing with my life to not knowing who I am and not knowing what I am doing. I guess when life is good, things are seen in a positive light but when I am put through difficult situations, I begin to question my life. The life challenges really test my faith and really knock me down and make me feel insecure about my being but when all obstacles are put behind me and I have jumped that hurdle I begin to believe again. I know life is a test and God doesn’t give us more than we can handle for He wants us to succeed. I try to keep my head up in these difficult times for what am I left to do? I can not sit in my sorrows for life is too short. I gotta stand up for myself, my life, and make the best of it. Though my ego wants me to believe that this is the hardest thing I have to face in the moment, I know life has many more challenges on the way. I know this is just a building block to make me stronger for things to come in my life. After all I am only dealing with Liza Mae and I don’t have to deal with a husband, kids, and in-laws. I can only fathom how many challenges life will have when my decisions directly effect those people. But for now I gotta stand up and appreciate the life that I have in front of me and the challenges life throws my way.
Motivational & Inspirational Playlist
I have compiled some of my current favorite motivational and inspirational songs that lift my spirits when life’s got me down.
“Success is my idol and being broke is my rival” – Big Sean
“So in all the bad and the good will soon come
Don’t think second best
Be number one
Spread some love
Don’t give to receive
Strive to be happy
And live to believe”
- Jessie J
I realized that I will not be able to meet deadlines due to unexpected life occurrences. Also, goals seem to change as priorities shift and realities kick in. This is not to say that I am totally dreading life, but I am actually enjoying the little moments that make up my day. I pushed off some of my goals to spend time with mi amore, family, and friends.
Last weekend for Easter I spent time with my girlfriends to celebrate Wan Ting’s birthday with dinner at a Korean restaurant, then karaoke. While we were singing my heart out to Flo Rida – Right Round, Britney Spears – Womanizer, and Usher – Love in this Club, mi amore spent time catching up with his ex. I like this balance in our relationship where we do not have to do everything together, we have our separate lives outside of the relationship. I’ve learned that mi amore may not like doing all the things that I like to do, so instead of him compromising his time, I will do it on my own. Fortunately enough, we have more things in common than not, so this is not an issue.
On Easter Sunday, we went to my family to have lunch. I always enjoy spending time with my family, especially with the kiddies. I have three nephews, all under the age of three.
Mi Amore, friends, and family are my priorities and spending time with them is worth pushing some deadlines further.
My updated update:
House is rented for May 1, so many things have to be done around the house (basement reno, cleaning, installation of washer/dryer, and small touch-ups)
Work-out schedule (Mon – Cycling | Tue – Hip Hop | Wed – Cross-training | Thu – Running | Fri – Cross-Traing, Sat – Running | Sun – Cross-Training) One to two days I will be resting, I’m not that psycho. lol
I sit in the dining room staring at this blank canvas. The room is empty with just this seat and 3 others like it, and a dining table . Leela James “I Want to Know What Love Is” playing in my white earphones. I gaze out the front window, seeing the gloominess and rain outside. My stomach is growling but I am demotivated to make anything due to my gloomy state but I may give in. I feel as though I haven’t written in a long time and even though I am writing now, I have no substance to speak of. I want to hide under my sheets and wake up to the sunshine.
The show went well but I will post about it once I am in the right mind state.
I feel so nice just when you’re here The reason why is not so clear I knew the first time when you told me I’d fall in love just as you’d hold me
And now I want to stay at your side tonight I want to watch you as the sun lights up your eyes I want to know when you wake first thing you see is me You’re all the things I prayed that I’d meet
[Chorus:] Ride, ride this wave of mine There’re brighter things out on the other side Ride, ride this wave of mine I know that things are going to be alright
Moments they come and then they go You’ll feel so high and then before you know I could of sworn our future was set in stone But I guess some things it’s just as well forGod to know
So now I concentrate on turning wrong to right I’m going to let go things I held inside so tight I’m going to live and let forgive things said in spite Clear out the smoke and usher in the light
Last night I went to an old school party with my girl Akua and company. It was fun such that the music played reminded of days of elementary school and no worries. Back then, my best friend Grace and I would sit listening to AM 640 and jam with the radio or play the cassette tape of the current hot artist. To mention a few: Salt’n'Pepa, SWV, New Edition, R.Kelly, Aaliyah, and Da Brat. Where has the time gone from then and now?
Well now I listen to the newest neo-soul/r’n'b artists on repeat such as Corinne Bailey Rae (currently on my page), Jill Scott, Amel Larrieux, Amerie, Floetry, Etc. I have also diversified my musical taste and one day I could be listening to Alternative then another day I would be listening to Common.
Music moves me and I move music from one life to another. My playlist is the soundtrack of my soul.
I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.
