I just came home from seeing Stefan #2. and I have finalized my decisions about this somewhat ‘relationship’ … if that’s what you call it. It’s funny how things work out. No words were needed to be exchanged … because all I did was listen and the answers to my ‘what if’s were answered. The animosity and fury that I wanted to scream out loud weren’t necessary because it wasn’t worth my breath and stress. It simple wasn’t worth it.

I’ve been screaming for so long but its like trying to get through to a deaf man, YOU JUST CAN’T.  So I am left standing, listening to the echoes of my cries … replaying it in my mind … like a broken record … but I’ve muted them because I just didn’t want to hear it. But now that I do I have learned my lesson which consists of more than one thing.

Hrmmm … where do I begin. I don’t want to sound negative … so let me start with positives

1. Communication – I’ve learned how important it is to communicate … because not everyone can read your mind … and things that you think the other person should understands … think again. It’s surprising how often things were misconstrued in the message.

2. Reliability – Being able to rely on each other is important … because when you start to fall … the other should be right there to keep you standing. This also ties into trust. If you tell me something … I am going to believe you … so if I find that your actions don’t speak behind your words … then FUCK YOU.

3. Goals – What is it that you want from interacting with me? Knowing what you want is such a turn-on. Its ok not to know where it is going … but as long as you know where you want it to go … then its all good.

4. Ego & Pride – If you truly love someone … this does not exist in the relationship … its something that is put aside for this person. If you acquire this … it can cause problems, and what is all this ego worth? I think it just makes people jerks … and hold back from what they truly feel. Just let go …

5. Gift of Giving – I don’t believe in Give’n'take. I think if you give something to someone … you shouldn’t expect anything back for … if you do … then you are doing a selfish act … in that you are only giving to get back. If you are willing to give … give it your all … or its not worth it.

-Liza Mae