Posted on 13 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.
I feel numb …
conversations exchanged
between two lost souls
has got me thinking
about my past
if things … were real?
or surreal?
If love was a perception
that was deluded …
into my vulnerable
little figure …
my weakness’ were exposed
and I wonder if …
these weaknesses were consoled
to build this kingdom of
surrealism …
moments so brief …
that they were perfect
and there was no room for mess.
In my mind
I drew this image
that I finally realized
that doesn’t exist.
And life is not what I deemed fit
so what can I do to do to change this?
Absolutely … nothing … but everything.
I can change what i can ..
and things i can’t … well
I’ll just have to accept it …
whether I was in love …
or was in love with the thoughts …
I don’t regret a single moment
just smile that I experienced
this feeling … of the unknown.
distance is not an obstacle
but the time in between
has me running
around in circles
trying to find the end
and i finally did.
here I am
the end of the circle.
wanting this feeling back
from another person
trying to break from
this numbness
that sometimes …
holds me together
but also breaks me apart
just wanting to start
a new journey
for this is
the end.
this is the end.
- Liza Mae
Posted on 06 January 2004 by Liza Mae V.
Lately I’ve been writing but … it seems as though I am not focused. I start but I don’t finish but someone told me that sometimes … its better left unsaid. So with that being said … I am going to paste my ‘unfinished’ works … and you can let me know how you feel about it.
UNFINISHED #1
Another night of alcohol …
bright lights blinding me …
sound system closing my drum …
humming …
buzzing …
sounds …
in my hearing …
when its supposed to be silent …
instead its silently violent …
Messing up the equilibrium
in my realistic
holistic
conundrum
I call my life.
So I bite my tongue
before my heart becomes
numbed with pain
…(to be continued)
UNFINISHED #2
I am trying to articulate my feelings through alphabets … that transform into words … merge to sentences … but can not be truly defined … for the feelings are too much for words to describe. So I am left with … words read between lines … which can not truly exist … only in the mindset of the reader’s digest. Absorbing all this percievable bullshit that has become … my strength and weakness.
UNFINISHED #3 (I tried to add to #2 but it didn’t flow the same so I decided that it was another poem)
Escaping reality when we touch base. I see the reflection of my future when I stare in your eyes … but I deny it because it feels like I am floating on cloud nine. Seems too good to be true … because you … in my eyes … is perfection … amongst the imperfections you may cease to have.
-Liza
Posted on 13 December 2003 by Liza Mae V.
Separation
between time
has me
running around in
circles
triangles
& squares.
Trying to shape
questionable
words
which have not yet
been transformed
into actions
leading to
reactions,
which will determine
which route I should
stroll through.
While I try to decipher
this hidden message
you’ve been sending me
electronically
I wait anxiously
for you … to return to me.
I stopped analyzing
this separation
of lost time
words unheard
for I muted them
only wanting to listen
to your actions.
So I sit still
Day-by-day
Silently
Waiting …
for actions
to come to play.
- Liza Mae
Posted on 04 December 2003 by Liza Mae V.
It is interesting how you have impacted me in this brief period of my life …
I wonder how we crossed paths … and why I just didn’t keep going.
But now that we are face-to-face …
sharing this space …
I try to trace
the facets of your mental place …
which I am steadily walking through.
I am exploring what you have in store …
and some doors I just can’t get through …
because the barriers are far too deep …
too hard to unlock …
because you have this mental block …
that you are not aware of.
Your jaded secrecy is … slowly killing me.
I want to see all that I can …
Underneath this strong built man …
Holding his hand to freedom.
I want to look into your eyes …
and take off this disguise …
which was built from society
accepting the surreal being
I want to … please … appease …
your mind with my words … curves ..
Please take my hand …
For I want to show you …
Everything.
Liza Mae
Posted on 29 November 2003 by Liza Mae V.
I’ve been thinking about all the relationships I had and with that I think of all the good times I have encountered yet still have not found “The ONE”. Maybe it is me and this thing I believe in “The ONE” may not truly exist yet I still yearn for it and hope that one day it will come my way but right now everything that is happening is all just a blur.
I can’t seem to figure out what I truly want or need because I am still trying to find … ME.
Sometimes I think I know exactly what I want and when it comes I will know but how will I know? Will I see fireworks? Will reality seem all too surreal that I will never truly know?
Sometimes I wish that everything I truly desire will pop up and I would stop questioning everything, for the answer is simple, or is it? I look at the people circling my soul and wonder,
“Why are you here? What brought you to my existence?”
or should I be thankful that you are here with me, sharing my most inner secrets which will lead you to find me … whoever that maybe.
Why is it that when someone seems all too perfect they are gone before you know it? And the ones whom you care about but don’t impact you as much as they did, keep coming back?
I wonder why I am the way I am and why do people come to me for advice? I am no different from you … I can just see clearly when the situation is not me, but when it is, I am so clueless that I question. I question everything with a simple word,
“Why?”
When I do get the answer, I still question the answer. It seems as though I’m in this internal loop trying to break from the way I see things. I just want to … know. But right now all I can do is listen to these love songs and listen to their inspiring theories … which makes me believe in this thing called “Love”. I will dream about this man in my dreams which creeps in my fantasies ever so often. I will hold his hand till I wake to the sun rising beside me and my sheets.
I will believe … have faith … and see things the way … I perceive them to be. I will … question … and have answers. I will … be free and in love.
- Liza Mae
