Tag Archive | "relationships"

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emotional purge of thoughts … raw + unedited

Posted on 16 October 2009 by Liza Mae V.

So it has been a little over a month since my bf has left for China and I thought it would be easier than it is.  It isn’t quite what it seems in theory compared to in reality.  I realized that he brings me happiness in so many levels, emotional, physical, and spiritual.   He is emotionally and spiritually here but the physical heightens those feelings.   I used to look forward to seeing him after work each day, especially on Fridays.  Days are just mediocre and that is just not enough.  I want to smile when I wake up and just be delighted with life.  Unfortunately, I have gone astray and I’m back at my mundane state.  I am far from content because it feels a part of me is displaced, temporarily.   Anyways, time to read my daily horoscope:

Gemini Horoscope

Friday, Oct 16th, 2009 — Although your life seems to get busier now that Mars is in your 3rd House of Immediate Environment, you’ll probably float through the day without being overly concerned. You are a person on a mission today and very little can come between you and your goals, but your sense of balance may be a little off. For the best results continue on your current path with as little change as possible.

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I am quite the busy body these days.  Juggling a new house, my bf’s basement renovations, work, and LuxaVision.  I have not been consistent with my alone time and I need more of that.  I include my fitness time as alone time for I focus on only me.  I am going to do that after work today because I deserve it.

I need to focus on my goals and need not worry about the details.  I just need to become one with my chaos.

(takes a deep breathe)

– Liza Mae

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Vision & Goals: Keep it Moving

Posted on 16 April 2009 by Liza Mae V.

I realized that I will not be able to meet deadlines due to unexpected life occurrences.   Also, goals seem to change as priorities shift and realities kick in.  This is not to say that I am totally dreading life, but I am actually enjoying the little moments that make up my day.  I pushed off some of my goals to spend time with mi amore, family, and friends.

Last weekend for Easter I spent time with my girlfriends to celebrate Wan Ting’s birthday with dinner at a Korean restaurant, then karaoke.  While we were singing my heart out to Flo Rida – Right Round, Britney Spears – Womanizer, and Usher – Love in this Club, mi amore spent time catching up with his ex.  I like this balance in our relationship where we do not have to do everything together, we have our separate lives outside of the relationship.  I’ve learned that mi amore may not like doing all the things that I like to do, so instead of him compromising his time, I will do it on my own.  Fortunately enough, we have more things in common than not, so this is not an issue.

On Easter Sunday, we went to my family to have lunch.  I always enjoy spending time with my family, especially with the kiddies.  I have three nephews, all under the age of three.

Mi Amore, friends, and family are my priorities and spending time with them is worth pushing some deadlines further.

My updated update:

  • House is rented for May 1, so many things have to be done around the house (basement reno, cleaning, installation of washer/dryer, and small touch-ups)
  • Edit lizamae[dot]com’s Posts from LJ – estimated 250 posts (May 16)
  • Edit photos for web portfolio/photo book/flickr (June 1)
  • Design website for www.luxavision.com (July 1)
  • Get more photography clients (on going)
  • Work-out schedule (Mon – Cycling | Tue – Hip Hop | Wed – Cross-training | Thu – Running | Fri – Cross-Traing, Sat – Running | Sun – Cross-Training)  One to two days I will be resting, I’m not that psycho.  lol

– Liza Mae

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Happy Days

Posted on 26 November 2008 by Liza Mae V.

I just got home from dropping him off and his presence still lingers. I lay on the left side of the bed, leaving space for him though I know that isn’t ’til tomorrow. I have developed this habit of making space, not quite filled at the moment. So I take a deep breath and think of the days to come when we will be connected as one consistently.

On Monday I was eating dinner and my mother had asked what mi amor was gonna eat, but I said he wasn’t here. She seemed shocked at my response. We see each other almost daily and I don’t seem to get sick of him. He is the highlight of my day because he makes me smile, laugh, and best of all he makes me feel LOVED!!!

3 more weeks …

Liza Mae
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

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Protected: Stressed … Angry … Damaged

Posted on 28 October 2008 by Liza Mae V.

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Undescribable Passion – Freestyle

Posted on 14 October 2008 by Liza Mae V.

This just came out the way it did and sorry if it is too hard to understand …

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The passion between us is so strong that it still resonates within me.  I crumble with the thoughts of us together.  It has been six days too long since we were in close proximity and the moment that he came close to me, I reached pure bliss.  It was an euphoric moment.  The thoughts of us makes my knees weak and stomach turn.  I can not even describe this connection we share because there are not enough words to describe this feeling.  I am still lost for words but the only words that seem to flow from my lips are “I love you” and those words are not even enough, so I try to show this love with my touch, my kisses, my smile.  His eyes glow while I stare back at them and his eyes smile with his lips.  I can barely type this because the passion is too much for my mind to catch up to it.  I can not really describe it but all I know is that it makes my soul smile – it makes me happy inside and out.

Wearing her heart on her sleeve,

– Liza Mae

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Gemini’s Horoscope

Posted on 12 August 2008 by Liza Mae V.

Hers Gemini — If you have made a practice out of avoiding commitments, today could offer you a difficult choice. You may present a convincing case around your desire for intimacy, yet still retreat emotionally when someone gets too close to your heart. If there was ever a wise time to muster up your courage, this would be it. You don’t need to repeat old patterns just because you’re afraid of getting hurt.

His Aries  — You may withdraw your support today for someone because you want your message to get across loud and clear. Or you might need to disengage from a project that you feel has gone astray. In either case, pay careful attention to your motives, for your actions may not be helpful to anyone if they are based on fear. Conserving your energy makes sense, but don’t make someone else pay for your faulty planning.

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Found this interesting connection and insight between horoscopes.  Trying to digest it.

– Liza Mae

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Break Up to Make Up

Posted on 16 June 2008 by Liza Mae V.

We were supposed to meet up on Friday after work but he distanced himself because an eMail I sent him (that is another story that I will get into at a later date). So I ended up hanging out with friends at Luminato and the Condo on Grand. I realized he did not completely shut me out since he did call me and did want to see me but without a group around. So he picked me up downstairs.  The moment our eyes locked, there was a gravitational pull of our bodies. No words were exchanged – just passionate kisses and the yearning for each others touch. The passion exuded all other feelings and it felt like I haven’t seen him in months.  The moment lasted forever, so it seemed, and we became totally immersed with each other. (Melts at the thoughts).

We headed to Coffee Time so that we could converse more over coffee but also I needed to use the bathroom badly.  So we ran from the car to prevent ourselves from getting too wet from the storm.  We were the only customers there and the attendant seemed a bit awkward.  It was a weird atmosphere where beat-up drunks came for refuge after a long night.  We had noticed water had started leaking from outside and that was our queue to head out of the place.

The night continued till early morning …
– Liza Mae

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Dysfuntional Mind

Posted on 06 May 2008 by Liza Mae V.

i have been going through an emotional roller coaster …

ups . . ..                                                   highs ….                                                     .   &   .
&                                &                              &                                 ….                           .  .  .
. . . . downs                                                   . .  . . lows

i am happy when i am with HIM … but sad when i see the pain i have ’caused in him.
HE pushes me away slightly … he tries to pull me close but i resist.
i know this is new and fear the unknown with HIM … but i know he will fight or die for me.
i should stop thinking too far ahead.
i am here sitting at my desk.
i need to awaken the happiness that resides in me
instead of thinking of the unhappiness that surrounds me.

dysfunctional mind.

– Liza Mae

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s e p e r a t i on

Posted on 28 April 2008 by Liza Mae V.

i        a  m            h   e   r  e.

y

o

u

a
r
e

t  h  e  r  e   .

Lost between the spaces of time …
going back and forth in my mind.

yet I should be living here.  i am here.

STOP reliving the pain … i tell myself over and over.
STOP seeing the tears fall from your face …
the disappointment and sadness … in your eyes.

I can’t forget, but I can not go back to it …
I need to STOP feeling this guilt that I feel.
I am here.
. not there.

i am where i need to be …

– Liza Mae

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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