Tag Archive | "school"

Picking up the Pieces

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Picking up the Pieces

Posted on 03 March 2005 by Liza Mae V.

Sometimes I wonder if I am lucky or if I have enough belief in myself?

I usually procastinate to the point of pressure but not enough to explode … until yesterday. I had two midterms today and I didn’t start studying till the day before. I did some work on Monday but not enough, so I ended up breaking down. I traced back to the problem and why I waited so long and I felt so pissed off at myself that I started to fall to pieces. I did not know how to pick up the pieces because there were too many, so as he would usually do, he tried to help me pick up the pieces and make me whole again. Not until that point that I realized that I was lacking in motivation … I lacked in focus … I lacked in life. But why? Because I was too caught up in my own reality that I did not see the bigger picture of the future. I was only living the feeling of today that I did not want to do shit that I forgot that everything I do today will affect my tomorrow. That tomorrow that I want has to start today because without today, there would be no tomorrow. So with that I become me again.

Focus Man ...
.:Procastinating while studying … Motivating Self Piece:.

RESULTS … I actually think I passed both mid-terms and it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Maybe I was lucky but I think I had a thought in my mind that everything will be alright. I don’t know how I pull these things off but I am glad that I was not shot down to quickly.

My Scattered (non-emotional) Thoughts …

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Canadian Society for Industrial Engineers (CSIE) Conference 2005

Posted on 24 January 2005 by Liza Mae V.

The break down:

… Thursday …

I went to school and dropped off my luggage and headed to my hair dressers.  While I was waiting for the streetcar, It was so freaking cold that my nose hairs became frozen while breathing in, and then defrosts while breathing out.  Blar … anyways …  I got my hair done and felt so fresh.  I love that feeling.  =)  So I head back to school for the 2nd half of my last class then head to the hotel with Melissa to settle in.

We head downstairs for the rally where you all you hear is noise of screaming people, to the point where you can’t hear shit anymore.  This is where I bumped into the whole Concordia University delagates and of course … Vallery, Jonathan, and JP.  It was nice seeing them again because its been awhile. 

I get back to my room and grab a couple of drinks … had about 3 double shots = 6 shots of Malibu Mango.  Get to the Kabin Club and had a glass of wine and Vodka & Cran … and it was down for the count.  I talked to everyone from everywhere.  It was rather funny.  =)  I couldn’t find the people I went with so I just walked to the hotel on my own where JP would meet me to chat a little … and then I went to bed.

… Friday …

I woke up bright and early and actually went to a seminar about setting goals.  I loved one quote that she mentioned time and time again …

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”

I kept on playing that quote in my mind the whole time.  It means that instead of looking at yourself as changing from the person you are now to someone you want to become … you should look at yourself as that person that you want become.  For ex.  Instead of … I am smoker trying to quit … use … I am a non-smoker. 

The rest of the day was boring and I almost fell asleep on one of the keynote speakers. 

We went to the Hart house to have Wine & Cheese.  It was one of those social events where you supposed to speak to professionals but I thought it was pretty boring but I got a little bit tipsy and thats all that came out of that. 

That night the itenarary stated that we were supposed to go to Fez Batik.  I never heard of it so I decided to go.  Crystal was calling me all day to go to an old school Jam at Venue for her Bday/going away party but I decided to not go until after.  So I headed down to Fez Batik and I did not like the crowd, music, and my conscience was killing me.  I realized that I was with people I don’t care about and I should be with people that I do care about.  So I packed my stuff and took a cold walk to Venue all by my lonesome drunk self..  I did not have to wait in line since I just walked up to the bouncer and said what I had to say, so it was all good.  =)  I am glad that I made that decision.  I am glad that I could spend it with my homies, Akua, Tamla & Crystal.  I heard music I haven’t heard in a long ass time.  It was just fun.

After the club, we headed to the hot dog stand in the freezing cold, colder than earlier in that day.  Akua’s cousin dropped off one hot dog and Akua was driving off. 
Me:  “Where are you going?” x 5. 
Akua did not realize that her cousin was not in the car.  So she basically drove off on her cousin.  I thought that was hilarious. 

I came home with my hotdog and passed out.

…Saturday…

I slept in …  then got my nails done downstairs.  It was relaxing.  I love being pampered.  *sigh*   So I got ready for the Formal Dinner and it wasn’t a really big deal since I was ready to go home … to him.  I  missed him.  So I finally make it to his house … took a shower … come out and find him telling me to follow him to the dinning room.  He had a whole candlelight dinner waiting for me.  I was surprised and excited.  I thouht it was so sweet.  =)  I couldn’t stop smiling.  I am still trying to break the barriers that he has up … and this was a nice way of knowing that another layer has been shead. 

…Sunday…

Spent all day in bed with him & did some homework.  Ordered Dominoes pizza, Philly Cheese steak & Hawaiin and went to bed.

…NOW…

I am tired … and I need to sleep.  Goodnight!?!

-Liza

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gloomy day.

Posted on 12 January 2005 by Liza Mae V.

I am looking out my window of my computer class and it is so damn gloomy which also reflects my mood. I need some vitamin D, for those who don’t know, you can attain from the sun. I just want this day to be over because I am so tired and it is only 11am and I still have one more class from 2-4 which I may possibly fall asleep in. School is so dry. I only enjoy going to one class which is called Introduction to Controls. I can see my work piling up already yet I just look at it with procastination. This is one thing that I said I wouldn’t do but it is a very hard habit to break. blar … back to class … no more procrastination.

-Liza

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Exams …

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Exams …

Posted on 07 December 2004 by Liza Mae V.

This is one of the worst times of the year.

I need
to focus …
but my mind seems to …
squander in
places
where it does
not usually go.

I need
to set a trail …
before
I
follow
a path

to failure.

-Liza

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Your dreams are within your reach

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Your dreams are within your reach

Posted on 28 April 2004 by Liza Mae V.

School is finally over … for now. I had my ups & downs … lack of motivation was a major factor … and some of my studying tactics worked … some didn’t. I am awaiting my marks … and hopefully I will see something good … but my confidence level in school is on an ultimate low … it seems like as every semester passes … my focus begins to steer off to various directions. As I always say after each semester … I’ll try for the next one. YAY that’s not happening, unless I have something to strive for. Hrmmm, now that I think about it, maybe deep down inside my fragile frame, there may lie something I strive for … that’s why I’ve made it this far. I just don’t know quite yet. Some people have told me what drives them to become ONE with school…


“I’m doing this for my family … the one I’m going to have in the future. I’m getting an education to feed my kids…” [in theory of course, because this person doesn't even have kids] -anonymous


“I need to get my dream car … and when I don’t feel like going on … I stare at it … and think … I really want that” – Mel K.


“I want to get the highest MARKs in school … because I want to strive to be the best” – Anonymous


“I can make enough money to take care of my parents.” – Gavin

I struggle to find my drive … my inspiration. I know where I am but where am I going? Maybe engineering is not for me … but how did I make it this far? I’m sure its more than luck. I am comfortable with my life … no real complaints. I’ve got a bonded family that is rare these days, , friends to last a life time, home cooked meals, and…. and … what more do I need … a partner… which is composed of a lover/family/friend in one package. So is HE, this dream man in my mind, what keeps me on my feet when I get shot by a emotional glock? Maybe… just maybe.


The signs keep haunting me … that my dreams are within my reach.

-Liza

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F . U . C . K (A Bad Day)

Posted on 13 January 2004 by Liza Mae V.

My home PC is pissing me off again … but what’s new =’( … before I came on this … I was very much relaxed … now this bitch is dampening my spirits …

F . U . C . K (that’s all I got to say)

Well another day of school … and how boring it is.    I do not like a single lecture and I’ve been to four different ones. I have a feeling that this semester is going to be a loong one … and there is nothing I can do but … bitch and complain about it … *sigh*…. ughhh

F . U . C . K

I have only spoken to one person on the phone today … and that was Stefan #2. I feel so comfortable around him … (sigh) …

S . M . I . L . E

This month is pretty planned out ….
Friday … Getting my hair did =)
End of the month … I’ll be at an Industrial Engineering Conference in Montreal
The Blanks … well school and part-time work fill those holes … so basically I don’t have a life until May … or my life is just school.   I joined the gym in hopes that I will use the membership to actually work this flabby body of mine … It needs to be conditioned the way I want for this motorcycle show that I might be in for the summer … oh summer … anyways … its too cold to think of those warm thoughts … I just need to … find myself a warm body pillow … with a heartbeat. That’s all I want.

Anyways … I’m out.

-Liza

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About Liza Mae

I am a twenty-somethings female photographer in search of love, the meaning of life, and adventure. I am passionate about anything photography from the snap to the click.

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